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Chapter 91: It’s Etiquette to Take Down a Wyvern while Riding a Broom!
“If your with me, my image goes down the drain!!” Sword thundered at me.
“In the first place, it’s plain weird to worry about your image ever since you clung to me and apologized while bawling like a little kid. Aren’t people treating you super casually anyway in places like Ys?”
“That place houses many acquaintances who know me since my beginner days. Many of ’em haven’t quite realized that I’ve become an S-Rank adventurer, and thus they haven’t changed their ways, treatin’ me like normal! But, I’ve got quite an image to uphold in other towns and cities like the capital!”
Reaaaally? Oh well, whatever.
“Take me for an example, I don’t pretend to be anyone other than myself, so I’ll keep things like that.”
“No, you should pretend a bit more, you know? Ah, but sometimes you actually do. I mean, what the hell was up with that actin’ towards the spice-sellin’ lady the other day? Also, sometimes you shower the guild’s receptionists with compliments. Isn’t that no different from a womanizing swindler?”
“I act in such a way when I’m looking to get a freebie from the other party. I also do it with men, but it’s not as effective as it is with women.”
Wouldn’t it be awful to have a beautiful girl call out to you with a smile and then having something shady done to you by her?
“Bein’ called 『handsome lad』 by a brat ain’t anythin’ but shady.”
Hmm? Did he say something?
＊
A wyvern subjugation! It gets my blood pumping, but not to the extent of a dragon.
“Have you ever subjugated a wyvern?”
“Just once. Well, I got lucky. …Those things can fly, so they immediately scoot if they’re at a disadvantage. Because I had a spear with me by chance, I was able to take it down with a throw.”
A long throw, huh? Then again, the dragon knight of a certain RPG performs such a jump that it makes even wyverns pale, and skewers them with his spear.
Suddenly recalling that, a question popped up in my mind.
“…Hmm? You’re good at lightning magic, aren’t you? Wouldn’t it be easy to take out wyverns with a bolt or two?”
In response, he thrust his hand in front of my face, “First, wyverns are one of the few monsters that are immune to lightnin’ spells.”
Hee, I didn’t know.
“Second, your lightnin’ magic and regular lightnin’ magic are like day and night.” Sword raised a third finger, “Third and lastly, your able to strike down lightnin’ from the sky, but you see, usually no one can use lightnin’ magic like that!!”
I see.
“Can you use any ranged, large-scale magic?”
I got lost in deep thought when he asked me.
“Yep. Well, I won’t know unless I try it out, but I’ve got options. The simplest one would be ［Nuclear Power］…you can call it explosion magic, but if I use this, the whole area and its surroundings will become contaminated. It’ll have a lasting effect for a super, super long time, and in case you get polluted, you’ll have a condition where I can’t say whether an antidote would help you fix it. By the way, this is the 『Big Taboo Spell』 I often mention.”
“Okay, that one’s sealed.”
I thought he’d say so.
“Then I’ve got a spell to create a vacuum. This works against living beings who need to breathe, but it won’t have an effect on monsters that don’t require any air, like ghouls or skeletons. And, the magic that can kill those mobs as well would be wave magic, I’d say. If I shower them with several harmful waves, most monsters will fall prey to it, though I’m not quite sure about mud and sand monsters. It’s kinda like light magic that doesn’t shine.”
“Ahh, the one you used back in the dungeon, right?”
I nodded.
“Hmm, then this light magic of yours would be the safest approach?”
I folded my arms, “Well, we won’t be able to loot any materials then. After all, the wyvern’s body would be in a worse state than getting burned by fire. It’d get vaporized, carbonized, and its intestines would even spill out of its skin.”
“Gotcha. Askin’ you will be the final measure,” answered Sword.
＊
Now then, how are we going to take that thing down?
If it comes to fighting airborne enemies…
“Yep, in the end, as a romanticist, you’d go with the theory of a beautiful girl straddling a broom to fly up there.”
“If you can fly while straddlin’ a broom, you can also fly without broom, right?”
That’s indeed true! But! Where’s the dream in that!?
Since it wouldn’t be fun otherwise, I made a broom out of a random, nearby tree. All the while with Sword coldly staring at me as if watching the antics of a retard.
＊
When I started to sing a magical girl song I recalled, Sword burst into laughter.
“Your really happy-go-lucky through and through, aren’t you? I’m 100% sure no one but you would head out to defeat a wyvern in such a cheerful mood.”
Don’t just admire me, and become cheerful yourself as well.
＊
And, just as I warbled my song, the wyvern appeared. It immediately shot a fireball at us! Quite the hot-blooded one, isn’t it?
But, it was still a good distance away. It was circling high up in the sky, obviously wary of us.
Sword shaded his eyes, looking up to the wyvern.
“Fair way up there. Hmm, what are we gonna do ’bout this?”
“Of course, fly up!” I straddled my broom. “Come on, toss me towards the wyvern! Like throwing a spear! Hurry, hurry!”
Sword opened his mouth, but then gave up, apparently having switched his thinking.
“Oh well, whatever. You won’t die from it ‘nyway.”
He lifted the broom and me up with a jerk and shouldered us.
“‘Kay, here we go. Go n’ take it down…”
“And you make sure to not miss…waaaaaahhh!”
I flew off in a straight line with a whoosh, like a bullet.
＊
I’m flying on a broom. No, that’s a lie. Even without a broom I’d fly. But! It’s quite the event anyway!
It’s that. That! That super popular fairy-tale about wizards where they fly around on brooms! This feeling of speed! The thrill! I’m a SEEEEEKER!!
＊
…as I thought all that, I immediately arrived underneath the wyvern. The wyvern got extremely startled, freezing with its mouth agape.
Sorry, but I’ll take you down in a whiff.
The theory for flying magicians is to defeat enemies with magic, but with this momentum, it’s much faster to wrap it up with a neck chop.
In passing, I quickly drew my wooden sword and delivered a single flash of a slash.
“…Haah, once again I had to cut down something boring.” 1
After muttering that standard line, I swung my sword, causing a gust of wind and braking my ascent.
So, currently I was crashing down together with the wyvern. But, on the way, I used gravity magic to slow the fall before landing safely.
Sword came over while guffawing.
“Your the best. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed this much.”
“Oh, so you enjoyed it! Next time you try it as well, okay?”
“Sure, I’ll do so when a wyvern crops up next time.”
For a change Sword was positively interested in going along with it.
＊
Given that the blood of wyverns seemed to be valuable, I bottled it up as I drained its blood. Afterwards, I washed the remains, and tossed them into my cooled bag just like that.
Once we entered the guild, we were warmly welcomed again.
The guildmaster said, “Looks like a wyvern is going to appear on the market for the first time in a while. Its materials are definitely going to sell for a hefty sum!”
“I see. I cut off its head and drained its blood, but since Sword told me that the blood can be sold as well, I’ve stored it away separately. We want to eat the meat as well, so keep some of it back for us. Make it all parts that can be eaten, please,” I requested, just for the entire guild to freeze. “Mmh? Did I say something weird?”
The guildmaster pointed at me, and timidly asked, “Has that boy defeated the wyvern?”
But, who does he mean with ‘boy’?
“Yeah, that’s right,” answered Sword and laughed again as he obviously recalled the whole scene once more. “She got on a broom and told me, 『Throw me towards the wyvern!』. While wonderin’ whether I should chastise her a bit or somethin’, I threw her up there with all my strength. While flyin’ she chopped off its head, and after showin’ off like some weirdo, she fell together with the wyvern, you see? Thinkin’ she’s a lost cause of an idiot who cannot be saved anymore, I let go off all my worries and decided to simply enjoy myself.”
What’s with you!?
“Flying while riding a broom is etiquette!”
“For you at least, yeah. But, well, it does look fun, I s’pose.”
“Of course it is! I full-heartedly enjoy every situation! That’s what adventuring is about!”
When I threw my hands in the air, the entire guild broke out in laughter.