Chapter 53: Dares Require Participants who Spice them up!
Things were very lively inside the dungeon. Thanks to Sayla.
âEeeeeeekk!!!â
She screamed when skeletons appeared.
âNoooooooo!!!â
She screamed when ghouls appeared.
All the while clinging to my arm while pressing her hard, washboard-like chest against it.
I could have also used magic from a distance, but I deliberately went into close combat with my wooden sword to have some fun. Sayla frantically trying to hide behind me as a shield while being scared was fun.
ââŠLookinâ at you from behind, it makes one wonder, ăJust what the hell are these people doinâ after coming into a dungeon?ă, you know?â
Iâm sure for outsiders it must look like weâre flirting.
âIâm getting my fill of enjoyment.â
When I agreed in satisfaction, I was told by Sword, âYou really deserve divine punishment.â
Still, this place is full of slow-moving monsters. If a quickly-moving monster appeared around here, itâd take the thrill to a new level.
âŠJust when I thought so, something suddenly showed up.
âItâs a wraith. Physical attacks donât work âgainst that thing.â Sword explained.
âI want to test out various things first. Whatâs going to happen if you get hit by its attack?â
âYou wonât die instantly. Gettinâ possessed by it would make things annoyinâ though⊠Itâs usinâ mental attacks. In the worst case, Iâll handle it one way or ânother.â
Thatâs a load of my mind then.
âBut even before that, the woman clinginâ to you should be able to handle it, however.â He commented while pointing at Sayla who was stuck to my arm while trembling.
âNo need. Sheâs here as a mascot to spice up things.â
If sheâs this scared for me, it also makes this dare super exciting for me.
âIâve already thought that your quite the terrible person, but considerinâ all her condescendinâ, cocksure talk, that woman is just as bad as you.â He said apathetically.
âNow, now, donât be so jealous, Sword.â
âDo you actually know the meaninâ of the word?â I was asked in return.
Now then, a wraith, huh? Theyâre standard attractions for any haunted house, but to be honest, Iâm not really that interested. After all, theyâre completely soundless.
âRyoku, does that thing show up in your detection?â
âThere is a response with infrared rays. Its temperature is low.â
Hmm. That part follows the usual setting.
ThenâŠ
âEeeeeeekk!! Itâs a wraith! A wraith is heading this way! Noooooooo!â
Yep, yep, itâs totally heading this way.
âSaâŠâ
âNoooooooooooo!â
I waited until the very last moment, just when things got so exciting that Sword would step in at any moment.
âHaaah!â I tried cutting the wraith.
And it got cut.
Sayla was crying like a baby.
âOkay, I could slice it apart.â
Hmm?
Sword approached me with big stepsâŠ.and grabbed me with an iron claw.
âGyaaaa!â
âHey, thereâs limits to how far you take things! That just now was really dangerous!â
âIt wasnât!â
Rather, your iron claw is much more dangerous!
âNow listenâŠ!â
âThatâs why Iâve been telling you to trust me a bit more and enjoy yourself! This is an adventure!â
I got him to release his hand. But thereâs still some stinging pain left.
âYouâre such a worrywart. We werenât in such a big danger that youâd need to kick up such a fuss. The time when you suddenly disappeared was a lot more dangerous.â
Since I honestly didnât understand the principle behind Ms. Bloodyâs magic, it seemed really dangerous to me. It looked like teleportation magic, but if that spell went haywire, a human would be scattered into pieces. Or become a flyman.
ââŠGotcha. Sorry for gettinâ in the way of your fun.â
âI keep telling you to enjoy yourself as well. Look.â I pointed at Sayla.
âEeek, a wraiiithâŠ!â
She had completely broken down.
âIsnât that girl a prime example of a failed priestess? A dungeon full of undead would usually be the perfect spot for a priestess to show her stuff.â Sword mumbled while rolling his eyes.
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Now itâs time for our grand adventure to start. Just when I was about to think that, we arrived at the boss room.
âEeehhhâŠâŠâ
âDonât sound so disappointed.â
My temples got ground once again.
âP-Protect m-m-me p-properly, got it?â Sayla demanded with her teeth clattering.
âThereâs no way Iâd do that, is there? The only ones I protect are Sword and the Ryokus. Rather, go in front and become a meat shield.â
I kicked her bum with a verve.
âT-T-That is p-preposterous a-a-after you b-brought m-m-me all t-the way h-he-here!! T-Take responsibility!â
âAs if Iâd care. Iâve got the principle of not getting involved and commenting on how others lead their lives. If you believe in a god, cling to them to save you.â
Sword apparently didnât give a damn about her anymore either, âLetâs go then.â
Ignoring Saylaâs disgraceful behavior and my trash talking her, he urged us on without a care and opened the door to the boss room.
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The heavy door opened with a loud creaking and squeaking, totally befitting a haunted house. Itâd be super thrilling if something were to jump us the moment the door swung open.
And, the instant we stepped into the room, a zombie dog leaped at us.
âEeek!â Sayla fell on her butt, and peed herself while at it.
âAh, now that itâs reached this point, I guess itâs gone a bit too far.â I scratched my head after cutting down the dog.
âRather, you beinâ able to deal with it calmly is scary as fuck. Even I got the jitters when I experienced it for the first time.â
I mean, itâs such a stereotyped event.
âI have absolutely no issues with such attractions. But you see, attractions like this get super boring the instant none of the participants gets excited over them, right? Even the Dungeon Core wouldnât be very amused if I kept slaying all it throws at me indifferently, coldly and looking totally bored, donât you think? Not getting startled in a dungeon packed with things intended to surprise you would be a depressing blow for the Dungeon Core, wouldnât it?â
âYeah, whatever. Letâs finish off the boss.â
The boss was a lich. Meaning, it was capable of communication.
âHello.â
ââŠâ
âAre you the type incapable of conversation?â
ââŠI am, lich.â
âMy name, Indra. Mr. Lich, have you ever been allowed to talk with Sir Dungeon Core?â
ââŠThat information is confidential.â
I see, too bad. But, confidential basically means a confirmation, doesnât it?
âMr. Lich, do you have an ego?â
ââŠThat information is also confidential.â
âIf I kill you here, will you be the same Mr. Lich that gets revived here?â
ââŠâŠAffirmative.â
Alright.
âOkay, then please excuse me, but I need you to die for me.â
âWait. Iâm also, interested in you.â
Hoh.
Sword looked back and forth between me with surprise coloring his face.
âWhy did you, try to talk with me?â
âBecause I was curious.â
âCurious about what?â
âI consider dungeons to be attractions that have been created by Dungeon Cores. However, the monsters appearing in there arenât golems, like the Ryokus which I built, but seem to be real monsters. But, if you defeat a monster in a dungeon, it turns into particles and vanishes. This makes it hard to consider the monsters in dungeons as genuine. Thus I wanted to know whether the monsters, which have likely been created by Sir Dungeon Core, possess an ego. Iâve been hoping that my creations, the Ryokus, would also obtain something similar to a fake soul, which you could call an ego, some day. If the monsters created by Sir Dungeon Core are similar to ghosts, it might be possible for a self to dwell in the Ryokus one dayâŠâ
My words towards the end faded out as they became more and more quiet. The lich, however, burst into laughter.
ââŠYou are really extremely interesting. Iâd love to keep talking with you for as long as possible, but Iâm bound to this place here in order to defeat any visitors coming here. With this, our conversation is over.â
âIs that so? Okay, then here I come.â
I drew my wooden sword, closed the distance in an instant, and slew the lich. It turned into particles and vanished. Right afterwards, a treasure chest appeared with a plop.
âOh, a treasure chest!â
ââŠKillinâ the lich instantly and frolickinâ so much âbout its treasure chest, despite havinâ talked so happily with the lich moments agoâŠyouâre really unbelievable.â Sword commented with a stunned look.
âIf I want to meet the lich again, I just need to come here once more, right? Anyway, Iâm going to open the chest.â
âŠHmm?
Once I opened it, I found an accessory within.
âYou wonât know what it is as long as you donât get it appraised. If your unlucky, it could even be a cursed item. Sellinâ it off would be the fastest way to deal with it.â
âThen weâll do just that, I suppose.â
I wrapped it up in a sheet of leather and tossed it into my bag.
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Now then, all thatâs left is to head back, but what should we do about the girl who peed herself?
ââŠâŠNo choice. Iâll have you change into my spare clothes. Iâll put up the toiletâs enclosure sheets, so get in there, wipe your body off with a towel, and put in the fresh clothes.â
Sayla went over to get changed while sobbing with hiccups. It took her a bit, but then she came out in new attire. I laundered the clothes she wore and everything else.
âWhaaa!? W-Wait! J-Just what is that!?â
âIâm laundering. Itâs nice cause itâs easy, right? Weâll head towards the exit while your clothes dry.â
I washed them lightly, dehydrated, and then dried them out. Sayla watched it all dumbfounded.
ââŠHey, isnât this quite the high-ranking magic?â
âNo clue. It looks like Sword canât use it, but I canât use some of Swordâs spells either.â
Sword shrugged his shoulders.
ââŠAlso, thisâŠwhat Iâm wearing right nowâŠthe underwear. Itâs for women, right?â
âObviously.â
ââŠWhy do you have womenâs underwear on you!?â
âI told you that these are my spare clothes, didnât I!?â
âYouâre wearing womenâs underwear!?!?!â
âObviously!!â
Sword had a blast as he was guffawing.
âPervert!â
âActually Iâd be a pervert if I wore menâs clothes!â
âWearing womenâs clothes makes you a pervert!!â
Why the hell!? What, is it a fixed rule that all the underwear of priests is menâs wear without any differentiation between the sexes?
ïŒ
Since the way back became a boring chore, I used the full array of my magic together with Sword.
Iâm not the type of woman thinking that an outing is only over after youâve come back home.
I could eliminate the undead with my light magic, ultraviolet rays. I guess it has a sterilizing effect. But figures, I mean ultraviolet rays are pretty harmful, arenât they?
âWhat is that magic youâre usinâ?â
âLight magic.â
âDonât lie!â
I earned myself a retort by Sword since my spell wasnât shining.
ââŠJust a moment there! You could use light magic, and yet you defeated the monsters in close combat earlier!? Why!?!â Sayla shouted at me.
âI just wanted to enjoy watching you getting scared. Why are you asking something so obvious?â
When I answered her like that, she started to violently tremble, and got totally mad.
âYou idiooot! Youâre truly a brute! I hope you receive divine punishment!â
I shook my head with a smile, âI told Sword as well, but gods arenât human. Thus they wonât scold humans over every little, trivial occurrence.â
Hearing that, she totally snapped. And at long last since coming here, Sword finally laughed out loud at Saylaâs reaction.
âRather, I told you to defeat them, but well, it was fun, so whatever.â