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Chapter 49: Huh? Men Don’t Like Dirty Talk?
And then we also went to our bedroom together. Sitting down on the bed, we had a talk.
…He’s drinking even here…a night drink or something like that?
“You see, my name’s fairly well-known, and I’m not exactly poor. It ain’t just in my head and I’m not boastin’ either, okay? It’s simply proof that S-Ranks are popular. Moreover, I’ve never taken any pupils or anythin’ like that. Since I’ve been wanderin’ the lands myself without having a base so far, I’ve got more cash than other S-Ranks. Guess you can see where this is goin’. A flexible, famous bachelor with cash to boot is the perfect prey or target for single women lookin’ to strike rich. You understand, right?”
“Makes sense.” I nodded.
That was common sense even in the other world.
“I mean, it got so bad that women would try to trap me. I got targeted by women who were workin’ for guys with shady jobs in the underworld, and whenever I got careless, they tried to feed me weird drugs or use magic on me. It happened so often that I stopped countin’ at some point. Even the women here, with Bloody Witch in the lead, are thinkin’ of somehow establishin’ facts with me or make up shit to lock me up and wring out my money. Those girls are magic nerds, but they’re buyin’ up expensive, old books like mad, so they’re always broke. That makes me great prey. Right?”
“Well, that might be one of the reasons too, but…” I glanced at him with upturned eyes.
Sword flinched away.
“W-What!?”
“You’ve noticed, haven’t you?”
“……” He averted his eyes.
…Yep, just as I thought, he’s only been pretending to be dense.
“Ms. Bloody loves you, you know?”
“……Don’t say it.”
“Why not? She’s totally your type as well, isn’t she?”
“Haah? Your wrong there.”
“I mean, that woman is seriously stacked. They’re way bigger than those of my otherworld self! Sticking it between those two jugs woul-bwwphht!!”
My face got slapped with the base of his palm! Moreover, he hit me seriously!
I groaned in pain.
“Hey, you old sleazeball. I don’t like dirty talk. Can you tone it down a bit?”
“…Why don’t you like dirty talk as a guy…?”
Is Sword a weirdo? The guys my otherworld self knew mostly liked it. At the very least, none of them hated it to such an extent that they’d slap me over it.
Sword scratched his head, “Ah, that’s also the reason why I’ve been a loner. Casual banter between guys isn’t my cup of tea. I never played around with prostitutes either, so I don’t have your frightenin’ extent of knowledge about techniques and such.”
Hmm. Certainly, in an internet-less world, where information goes around by mouth, you’ve got no choice but to learn the tricks and know-how from professionals, I suppose.
“Okay, I’ll refrain from now on.”
I’ve now understood that some guys hate dirty talk. I’m a woman who can learn.
“Also, stop talkin’ ’bout Bloody Witch bein’ my preferred type. What are you gonna do if she takes it seriously.” He warned me with a serious look.
But still, does he dislike her to such an extent?
“I understand…I see, so she’s completely out, huh?”
“I already told you, didn’t I? I…don’t plan on marryin’ anyone. Even if she got serious ’bout me, I wouldn’t be able to answer her feelings. To put it bluntly, that woman’s trouble since she’d try to somehow make it work by kidnappin’ me and creatin’ facts, even if I told her off…”
Ah, this is something I wouldn’t be able to accept.
“I see. …Well, it’s your decision, so I won’t tell you what to do.”
“I mean, you understand where I’m comin’ from, don’t you? You told me that you wouldn’t marry anyone either, didn’t you?”
I did say that, yes.
“I think that’s different though. I hate this world. That’s why I also hate the humans of this world.”
Sword’s face cramped up.
“And while we’re at it, I also hate my current self. I loathe the woman who gave birth to me, and that man. I detest this body which has their blood running through its veins. Marrying someone? Give me a break. I hate this body and planet to such an extent that I want to erase either from existence.”
Suddenly Sword hugged me.
“……Gotcha. My feelings don’t go as far as yours, but I probably hate myself as well.”
Eh? That’s a lie.
“Incidentally, I might also hate others. Somethin’ like carefreely datin’ a woman is absolutely impossible for me. Just the idea that she’d try to entrap me makes me want to keep all of them at a distance. …Your resemblin’ me somewhat. And since I felt that, I invited you to come along with me. But, I didn’t want you to end up like me, so I tried to push you away, and yet I couldn’t let go of you. When you told me that I’m like air to you, I became very sad and it felt like the times when I was about to die, so I clung to you and frantically apologized. I knew that you were pissed, but I was happy when I learned that it wasn’t as though you didn’t feel anythin’ about me at all. ……I wanted to find friends. That’s the whole reason for me travelin’. That’s why I’m overjoyed that you’ve become my friend.”
……I guess I’ll ignore it as the babbling of a drunk. Come to think of it, the liquor I created in the beginning wasn’t of good quality, so it might have caused a drunken frenzy.
I consoled him by clapping his back.
“……You’re really a hopeless guy, aren’t you? I won’t marry anyone, but we’re going to adventure together. Somehow you seem to not think of me as a woman, but I can’t really think of you as being of the opposite gender either. As long as you can keep your reasoning even when I grow up into a captivating beauty someday, we’ll adventure together.”
He burst into laughter. Loudly, at that!!
“……Don’t worry. Your gonna stay a brat. Your insisting on having small breasts, but in reality, you don’t have any, do you? You’ve got the perfect, flat body line of a brat! Moreover, inside hides an old lecher! It ain’t like I’m thinkin’ of you as a guy, but perceivin’ you as opposite gender woulda be too much of a stretch for me. Or rather, the same would apply to anyone else. Even if you were to introduce yourself as a woman, everyone would be sure that your a guy. Even when washin’ right next to you while stark naked, no one would take you for a woman.”
!!
How terrible of him!! And here I was consoling and encouraging him!
＊
…At some point I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, Ms. Bloody stood next to the bed like a stone statue after having flipped over the bed sheet to take a peek.
“…….WHAT IS THIS ABOOOOOOUT!?”
ABOOOOOOUT as in what? Is she asking how Sword and I ended up in the same bed?
If I remember correctly, we went to sleep together. But look, we’re wearing clothes and all. Our attires don’t even look messed up as if we had some sex play involving wearing clothes.
“In short, it is AS YOU CAN SEE. Sorry, but I got my hands full with this girl here.”
Ah, Sword is going with the flow and uses it to casually reject her.
“It looks like Sword converted to the no-breast faction. Sorry for having said something inconsiderate as I was sure that he definitely belonged to the big-breast faction.”
I also chipped in, explaining that he turned down Ms. Bloody because she apparently wasn’t his type. At once Ms. Bloody started to tremble violently.
“…You cheaaaaater～～!” She screamed while trying to punch us.
Both of us jumped back.
“Hmm, I wonder who’s meant with that?”
“Probably you, no I’m sure it’s you. Absolutely sure.” Sword frantically pushed the blame on me.
“No, that was a joke, you know?”
My part in this is nonexistent, I’m certain.
Ms. Bloody pulverized the bed she ended up hitting thanks to her splendid, superhuman strength.
“Okay, just as I thought, my strength is pretty much normal in this world.”
“Wait, wait, Bloody Witch is an S-Rank, just so you know. Also, as for the reason why she’s received a brutal name like Bloody, there’s an anecdote goin’ ’round that she’s punched the countless men, who dumped her, bloody with her fists.” Sword calmly retorted.
Thanks for the explanation.
“I guess it’s your turn to become bloody next, huh!?”
When I teased him cheerfully like that, Ms Bloody screamed back, “Don’t decide on your own that it’s because I was dumped～～～!”
＊
Ms. Bloody does appear to have herculean strength, but unfortunately she’s got no stamina. She immediately started to pant heavily, completely worn out.
“Wouldn’t it be better for you to work on your stamina? While it might be true that you’re a mage, you’d still be troubled if you don’t have enough stamina to go on adventurers seeing how you’re an adventurer as well so far as it goes, don’t you think?”
“No, we’d be the ones in trouble if she could chase after us after havin’ become a stamina monster.”
Sword lands a pin-point retort!
“That in itself would be fine with me since it’d be some fun. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to at least protect your virginity. But, some thrill would definitely be nice.”
Ms. Bloody started to loudly bawl.
“Anyway, thanks for having taken care of us. We’re off now.”
And yet Sword completely disregarded it, and bid farewell from her with a refreshed look, intending to quickly get out of here.
“It got slightly exciting at the very end, but in the end it wasn’t anything worthwhile. Oh well, it can’t be helped. I’m kinda reluctant to leave, but since we’ve still got a request to finish, I’ll have to excuse myself at this point. Let’s meet again if we get another opportunity.”
I opened the window, and jumped down.