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Chapter 47: Formal Invitation into the Bloody Mansion
T/N: Cut out some food porn.
Ms. Bloody and hers first repaired the entrance area.
“Oh! A mysterious magic spell!”
As soon as Ms. Bloody chanted, the broken wall and ornaments got fixed in a whiff.
“This much is no more than beginner’s magic, you see?” Ms. Bloody grinned broadly.
“Sword, can you cast it as well?”
“I can, but I’ve got nothin’ to use it on.”
Hmm.
“Why can’t you regenerate an arm if you can do something like this?”
The room froze into silence. And then everyone except for Sword burst out into laughter.
“Healing magic and restoration magic are two different pairs of shoes! This is why children, who don’t understand magic, are so troublesome!” Ms. Bloody rebuked me.
But, I objected, “What’s different? Both handle 『Broken Objects』, don’t they? It’s not like a soul is dwelling in an arm. If you can restore that broken ornament, it only follows logic that you’d be able to fix an arm as well, right?”
I don’t get the idea here.
Sword sighed, “You might be able to use it like that if you learn restoration magic.”
“”……Eh?””
Everyone stopped laughing, and stared at Sword and me.
“It’s impossible since I don’t know restoration magic. And it’s not like I can compensate for it with magic elements. Otherwise something a lot weirder might occur. It interests me, but at present I don’t feel any need to analyze it as long as you can use it.”
The eyes of Ms. Bloody and her maids were fixed on us.
“……Is this child possibly capable of using magic?”
“She’s the one who built the golems called Ryoku.”
The Ryokus showed up and greeted Ms. Bloody.
“Nice to meet you! I am Ryoku!”
“Nice to meet you! I’m Mr. Sword’s personal machine!”
Whaaaat!? I’ve never taught him these woooords!?
I intently stared at Sword’s Ryoku.
“…Why just Sword’s Ryokuuu!? Even though I didn’t teach him those words!! That’s so unfaaaaaaiiir!!” I started sobbing.
“…Why are the golems talkiiing!?” Ms. Bloody screamed.
“If I had to describe this girl, 『Mad Genius』 would fit the bill. She’s coninuin’ to invent crazy stuff while shatterin’ common sense with her unique theories. By the way, as you can probably tell from the state of your own mansion, she possesses force comparable to me. And since it’s not just swordsmanship, but also unarmed combat with her, she’s a nasty opponent to mess with. …Well, I can’t really complain as her partner.” Sword gently stroked my head to soothe me.
……You think doing that is going to heal my broken heart!?!?
“Mother, don’t cry, okay?”
Ryoku also soothed me.
“…Tadah, I’m back! I was comforted by Ryoku!”
“Ain’t that just a function? I’m really startin’ to wonder whether your an idiot for gettin’ all cheered up by the Ryoku carryin’ out functions you added to them.”
I can’t hear anything.
“Now then, since it’s such a rare occasion, I’ll demonstrate my cooking skills. Otherwise you won’t be able to eat anything, right Sword? Then again, we’ve been planning to camp out anyway, so I’ve prepared myself for cooking.”
Sword openly felt relieved.
“Whaaat!? Youngster, you’re saying you can cook?”
Ms. Bloody scrutinized me with complete distrust.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got cooking skills that made noble cooks beg me to teach them.”
Ms. Bloody’s expression became super sadistic, “Heeh…a bigshot has shown up, eh? Very well, then please show us what you’re capable of. However, my palate is quite refined, you know? What do you plan to do if the taste doesn’t agree with me?”
“I’ll give you my treasured liquor…is what I’d say, but I guess a woman wouldn’t be happy over such a present.
Oh right! I’ll give you my detergent !”
“Detergent…? No, I’m fine with the liquor.”
Ah, looks like I found another heavy drinker over here?
…And immediately following I got a can of whoop-ass opened upon me by Sword.
“Hey!! Why liquor!? Why!!? That Wheat Honey of yours would’ve been plenty, no!?!?”
“She’s nobility, isn’t she? Nobles are used to eating honey. Moreover, that stuff is cheaper and has a quirkier taste. A commoner would be delighted by it, but I doubt that it’ll go down well with nobles. If it’s about rarity value, the detergent comes with that, I’d say. Items related to beauty are always popular, but since I don’t use anything but detergent myself, I can’t give her any other beauty items at the moment.”
She might have happily received face lotion or packs, but I don’t have any of those since I don’t use them. Since the soap and the scalp scrub are made out of oil with herbs, she might be delighted since they smell nicely.
“It’s just as you say. I’m a noble, but how did you know?” She examined me with narrowed eyes.
Sword replied in my stead, “This girl was a noble, too.”
“…So that’s it. No wonder. She’s way too bold for a commoner. Moreover, she doesn’t behave humbly either.”
I stopped her by holding up a hand.
“No, right now I’m a commoner. But, because I believe that all people are equal, I make sure to not act menial.”
“…Hmm. Still, I feel like that thinking despite being a commoner shows that you haven’t completely stopped acting like a noble.”
“I don’t plan to bend my knee, even when facing royalty. I doubt that’s the attitude of nobility. Rather, it’s the way of an adventurer. Adventurers are treated equally whether they might be commoners or women as long as they take responsibility for their own life! They’re embracing a truly free life!”
When I threw my hands up into a hurrah pose, Sword ground my temples with his hands.
“You can only entertain such an impression because your simply an eccentric oddball!”
＊
Now then, the kitchen.
Sword was closely sticking to me. How annoying.
“I’ll make some side dishes, so sit down over there and drink.”
When I tried to chase him out of the kitchen, he protested, “I’ll get attacked if I become dead drunk!”
Why is he so scared?
“Don’t worry. If that happens, I’ll toss you into your Ryoku’s pod.”
He cheered up at once.
“Oh, that option existed ‘s well. Alright, time to drink.”
He immediately started to drink.
“Don’t overdo it.” I told him over my shoulder, and started to cook.
Okay, I guess I gotta make enough for all of them. I got plenty of ingredients, but on the other hand, not much time. I guess I’ll make stew. If I apply pressure with magic, it’ll be done in a short period of time.
As soon as I added wine to my cooking, Sword howled, “Waaaahh! I’ve told you over n’ over ‘gain, that’s a waste!!”
“…Shut up! Don’t get in the way of my cooking! Or I’m going to throw you into Ryoku’s pod!”
You praise the food as delicious when it’s included, but always bicker whenever I put it in!
＊
I folded my arms, groaning.
“We’re totally lacking bread, aren’t we?”
Since Sword is usually a big eater, I’ve prepared a somewhat bigger portion, but since I’ve been trying to bake new bread once every three days, it won’t be enough even if I hand out all of our stock. Hence I really want to use the bread that has been prepared over here, but leaving aside myself, I’d be troubled if Sword got caught in a trap added to the food.
No helping it. Let’s go with pasta.
When I kneaded and cut the noodle dough, Sword commented, “Ohh! Your makin the thing called ［Pasta］? Sure like that one.”
Well, many men like noodles. If we settle down next time, I’ll make ramen. I even know the method to make noodles with wood ashes instead of water!
＊
Sword watched me prepare the food while drinking his liquor.
“…Lookin’ at you, I feel like you’ve really headed down the wrong way. Multiple spells at the same time without chantin’? I’ve got no clue how that works. I mean, I can use magic better than your average magician, you know? And yet your easily surpassin’ me by leaps n’ bounds.”
Are you already drunk? You’re babbling, dude.
“Aren’t we equal since I can’t use magic that uses chants? I can’t use the restoration magic from earlier. It’s great that we can supplement each other in what we’re lacking, don’t you think?”
…As soon as I said that, I got hugged by the drunkard!
“Waah!”
“Your truly nice! Yep, a great girl!”
He rubbed his face against my head, messing up my hair once again!
“You drunkard! Behave yourself and stick to your booze!”
“Am not drunk yet.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what every drunkard says. Switch to wine after taking the medicine.
I’ll also serve wine for the meal.”
I thrust water and medicine in front of his nose.
“Aye, aye, ma’am.” He obediently took his medicine.