âLord Alois⌠Lord Alois! Wait just a moment, please!â
Just how many times had Camilla called out to Alois, who marched quickly in front of her?
Ever since leaving the courtroom, Alois hadnât let go of Camillaâs hand even once as they walked. They walked through the streets of the capital, towards the northernmost gate. That was where Eckhart had said their carriage would be prepared.
Even though the trial had started around noon, Camilla had lost track of time in all the tumult. The sun was already beginning to set. As the fading sun still shone down on the streets of the royal capital, a chill night air began to creep through its alleys, scattering the flowers that had been set up in celebration.
At that time of day, there were few people heading towards the city gates. As Alois had already lead her away from the center of the city, there were scarce few people on the streets and the buildings werenât quite as packed together.
âLord Alois!â
Alois finally came to a halt as her voice echoed through the silent street. He finally let go of her hand that he had been gripping so tightly, she had begun to feel a twinge of pain.
âJust what is wrong with you, Lord Alois!? This isnât like you at all!â
Not listening to Camillaâs words, not trying to be gentle with her, not matching his pace to her own, it wasnât like the Alois she knew at all. The fact that he didnât even spare a thought for Diana, who was finding it hard to keep up with them, was also very unlike Alois.
Now that she thought about it, he had been acting strange ever since he laid eyes on Camillaâs parents back in the courtroom.
âAre you angry? Iâll have you know, Iâm not bothered by such a thing at all!â
ââŚIâm sorry, Camilla.â
Alois looked slightly hesitant as he turned to look back at Camilla. His expression was an unsightly mixture of shame and stubbornness.
âI was cruel to your parents in front of so many people.â
âYou said nothing that I would call cruel at all! In the first place, Lord Alois, you didnât say anything, I decided to say those things myself!â
Camilla wasnât a little girl anymore. She was past the age where she lived in fear of her parents. If she was angry with them, if she couldnât forgive them, if she didnât want to acknowledge them anymore⌠As she was now, Camilla would say exactly what was on her mind.
There was no need for Alois to regret what had happened on Camillaâs behalf.
âI know that.â
Aloisâ face twisted bitterly. As if he couldnât hold it back any longer, he spat the words out.
âBut, it was making me so angry!â
Camilla was slightly taken aback by how strong Aloisâ voice suddenly sounded.
He wasnât angry for her sake, but for his own. He was so angry that he had forgotten his usual calm demeanour in public, humiliated her parents and half dragged Camilla out of the courtroom and down the street by her hand.
âIâve shown you something strange, havenât IâŚâ
âNo, not at allâŚâ
As Aloisâ eyes were cast downward in shame, Camilla shook her head. She silently looked at Aloisâ face for a few moments, which was a mess of conflicting emotions.
Alois wasnât the type of person to get angry like that.
He didnât let his strong feelings show so obviously.
He was always calm, keeping his emotions under control. Whether in joy or sadness, smiles or tears, he had always suppressed his own feelings and put others first.
âLord Alois.â
A âgood boyâ, who never lost his temper and always thought of others first.
Camilla had known that side of Alois.
âYouâve finally learned to be selfish, havenât you?â
Alois frowned slightly. He looked slightly uncomfortable as he met Camillaâs gaze.
As he stared back at Camilla, who had been gazing at him the whole time, Alois spoke quietly, as if he were slightly embarrassed.
âThatâs because of you.â
âFu⌠fufu⌠fuhahahaha!â
Just why was it that those words of all things set off her laughter?
It really was strange.
All that bitterness, pain and loss⌠it felt like a heavy burden had suddenly been lifted off her back. Relief rolled over her like a breaking wave. Instead of losing everything, Camilla had gained a new way forward, one that she had chosen herself.
She laughed and laughed and laughed, until she could feel tears at the corner of her eyes.
âCamillaâŚ?â
When she heard Aloisâ anxious voice, Camilla caught her breath and wiped the tears away. It was the first time she had been unwittingly brought to tears like that. During all the hard and sad times she had endured before, she had always just grit her teeth and endured it.
âIâm sorry. I just really am relieved.â
She knew just how strange she must have seemed. But, she really was relieved that Alois had come. Perhaps Camilla really had been more scared than she herself knew. But, that strong front she had been putting up was now unravelling because of Alois.
It was at that moment Camilla realized she could cry all she liked.
âThank you very much, Lord Alois. Iâm glad you came.â
Camilla laughed again, as she kept wiping away the tears. Maybe it was too early to feel completely safe, but things were definitely better now. She didnât have to steel herself any longer.
ââŚCamilla.â
Alois simply gazed at her, as Camilla smiled and laughed through her tears.
He tried to stammer out words, but after taking a deep breath, he looked at the ground. Then, slowly raised his hand, looking slightly uneasy.
âJust once more⌠can I say something selfish?â
âYes?â
âThough this time, itâs a question for you.â
Camilla didnât understand what Alois meant straight away.
Alois looked straight at her. Compared to the first time they had met, his body was lean now. He was still toweringly tall, his silver coloured hair flowing in the evening wind. As the sun continued to dip, his long shadow stretched down the street. The owner of that shadow gently touched Camillaâs cheek.
There wasnât a trace of that rough and pudgy skin anymore. Those thick hands had become slim and shapely. There wasnât anything left of the features that earned him the nickname of the Toad of the Swamp.
âWas I able to become someone that you could approve of?â
That handsome face of his looked at Camilla anxiously. Those emotional red eyes of his glinted with a hint of desire. It was the face of a man who couldnât hide his feelings anymore, a face of his that Camilla had never known.
Camilla understood what his question meant.
She almost pulled back on instinct.
As Camilla inched backwards ever so slightly, Aloisâ eyebrows twitched. If she pulled back and rejected him now, just how badly would he be hurt?
But, even so, Camilla was determined to say what was on her mind.
âI⌠I am not going to accept you just because I know that youâre Julian now!â
She wasnât going to fall in love with someone just because they were Julian. She wouldnât approve of him just because he was Julian.
âIâll do it because youâre Alois.â
She raised a hand to her cheek, giving his hand a squeeze. Even if her cheeks were flushed, or her eyes were still red, Camilla didnât look away from Alois for a second.
âWho you really are doesnât matter to me. Your face or your body⌠donât matter either⌠of course, do not misunderstand, I prefer you this way! But, thatâs not whatâs important!â
If Alois began to put on weight again, Camilla would definitely put in every effort to slim him down again. But, thatâs right. The only person that sheâd want to whip into shape and make lose weight was Alois. He was the only one.
She kept speaking without stopping to think. Did she even know what she was trying to say anymore? She felt an odd sweat begin to form on her forehead. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest, her face begin to flush, and her vision starting to shimmer.
âThe year that I spent together with you, Lord Alois⌠I didnât hate it at all!â
Camilla fell in love with the man they called the Toad of the Swamp. She got angry with him, argued with him, travelled with him and eventually took his hand.
They laughed and cried together as they grew closer. They had come this far side by side. Always together with Alois.
âI know.â
Alois smiled. In the orange glow of the setting sun, that happy smile was more fair and charming than any she had ever seen.
Then, he drew closer to Camilla. As the sun ebbed away, the cold winds began to rustle more and more.
The celebratory flowers danced on the breeze. As the spring winds swept towards the north, the petals were dyed the same colour as the sky.
Camilla looked slightly puzzled as Alois came even closer. She wasnât disgusted, though. In fact, she was surely happy. But, she didnât realize what he was about to do.
Taking advantage of her confusion, Alois closed his eyes as he pulled Camilla close, kissing her with all that he had.