That was only natural. For ten days after that incident, Camilla and Alois barely said a word to one another.
Alois spent almost all of his time in his study, barely leaving at all. He didnât answer when she knocked on his door, and on the rare occasion they met in the corridor he excused himself with an âIâm busyâ. It would take a saint not to be angry about all this.
Had he shut himself off in there to think about what to do next? It was like he was at work constantly. All the food was delivered straight to him directly, it was like he didnât take his eyes off those documents for days at a time.
â Heâs running away from reality!
Feeling no end to her bitter irritation, Camilla slammed a fist into the cookie dough. No matter how much she took her anger out on the dough, though, it didnât seem to fade at all. Camilla had haunted the kitchens so much lately with a terrifying looking face that even those usually rowdy cooks didnât dare speak out to her.
Thanks to that, Camilla made more cookie dough than anyone knew what to do with. At first, she was making it to properly bake it into cookies, but she soon realized that the kneading process was much more suited to her mood, so instead the amount of dough just kept on increasing.
â At least hear what other people have to say! Stop running away from things! And this comfort eating of his absolutely has to stop!
Because she spent so much of her time in the kitchen, Camilla had picked up the gist of Aloisâ current food situation. Apparently, Alois had completely regained his appetite from before. No matter how many meals a day he was served, he was returning cleaned plates of that disgustingly overseasoned food. If this kept up, Camillaâs efforts would be all for nought.
He had finally begun to really lose some weight and was even beginning to exercise, whatâs more, she felt like she had been on the verge of a breakthrough in regards to getting rid of all that excess seasoning in his food.
But now, Alois seems determined to not even face Camilla before she returns to the royal capital. Itâs as if he really does believe that this is whatâs best for her.
Alois wouldnât leave his room, she couldnât find that small case of flowers, and her progress when it came to making sweets was going off the rails as well. Nicole was beginning to scratch at her skin again like back when the miasma was thick in the air. GĂźnter still didnât recognize Camillaâs skill, and Gerda was as hateful as ever.
Everything felt like it was spiralling out of her control. And everything, all of it, was all Aloisâ fault.
ââŚJust as wild as ever.â
Stepping past the cooks who had slunk away in fear at the sight of Camilla pounding the cookie dough into a pulp, GĂźnter looked at her without a trace of fright in his face.
âWhat else can I do!?â
As Camilla snapped back at him, GĂźnter frowned. He didnât yell at Camilla, who was making a mess of his kitchen, perhaps he even sympathized with her.
But, first and foremost, he was still Aloisâ close friend.
âWell, I understand the young masterâs feelings. Even just talking to you about it like that must have taken a lot of pluck.â
âHmph,â Camilla breathed out angrily through her nose. That know-it-all GĂźnter, he had always been aware of Aloisâ dark past. âItâs an open secret around here,â he had said. Apparently, all the veteran servants in the mansion knew about it.
Of course, no one spoke about it openly. It was only natural that GĂźnter kept his silence about it as well, but even though she knew that deep down, she still hated it.
âBandying words about like that is cheap! Especially if you have no intention of ever talking to that person again in the first place!â
Itâs easy to say whatever you please if you completely ignore what the other person has to say in response. You may as well be speaking to a brick wall.
âEven if you say that, heâs doing this for your sake, ainât he? Iâm sure that you have unfinished business back in the capital? Like⌠with Prince Julian, for example?â
âEnough about my sake! Does he really not care? Is Alois really going to give up on me that easily!?â
GĂźnterâs frown deepened. To him, as far as he knew, Camilla hadnât given up on Prince Julian. He still harboured a slight grudge against Camilla for what she had said back then, out of the deep respect he held for Alois.
âNot everyone thinks the same way as you do. Think about it from his angle, he really is doinâ this for you.â
âHow can you say heâs doing this for me!?â
Camilla slammed a fist into the cookie dough.
âI⌠I donât want him to give up! An Alois whoâs running in fear from the past, who is so easily able to give up, I donât want that at all!â
When she was in love with Prince Julian, Camilla had always dreamed about being his rock. Someone who could share his burdens. Someone who could support him by staying at his side.
But, it was as if Alois didnât want Camillaâs support at all. He was scared, so he rejected her, pushing her away. Was Camilla truly a person he could open his heart to? He must have thought that. A weak man, who would rather run away than believe in Camilla.
That was unforgivable. But, even more than that, it was disappointing. She felt the anger flaring up even brighter as she thought about it. And also⌠it hurt.
âLord Alois, was that really all I was to himâŚ!?â
Camilla sighed angrily. She couldnât keep still, pacing short steps back and forth in front of the bench. As Camilla moved around restlessly, GĂźnter looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
ââŚHey, you. The way youâre talkinââŚâ
That suspicious look of his caught Camillaâs eyes. Without feeling any pressure from Camillaâs palpable anger, he looked straight into her eyes.
âItâs like⌠no, I know that youâre in love with Prince Julian and all, but even so⌠maybeâŚâ
âWhat is it?â
Camilla felt irritated as he stumbled over his words. It was rare for GĂźnter to not be straight forward like this. It was as if he really was suddenly intimidated by Camilla, and thatâs why he was hesitating.
But, after a shake of his head, he suddenly spoke up, more determined than before.
âAh⌠No, Iâll tell ya! Just, well, Iâm not great with women, so I might be wrong about this.â
As he scratched the back of his head awkwardly for a moment, GĂźnter faced Camilla again.
This time, it was Camilla who suddenly felt a little overwhelmed by the strange pressure. With a deadly serious face, and a new found confidence in his voice, he finally said it clearly to Camilla.
âYou, the way youâre talkinâ⌠itâs as if you actually love Alois or somethinâ!â
Camilla was speechless.
Those were the last words she ever expected to hear from that manâs mouth.
For a while, it was all that Camilla could do to blink at him in sheer surprise. She combed over every syllable of the words she just heard in her head. She had completely stopped laying into the dough, and it felt like even her breathing had stopped. As she stared at GĂźnter, his face began to look increasingly uncomfortable.
After a long time, the words she spoke had completely lost all the fire from before.
ââŚIâd never really thought about it like that.â
Sheâd thought about being someone close to Alois. There was also the talk of engagement and marriage. What married life with Alois might look like, she couldnât really imagine it clearly still, but she had thought about it.
But, that⌠How strange.
â Do I love Lord Alois?
Could it have been because she had always been thinking about Prince Julian for such a long time? Or was it because of the awful first impression she held of Alois subconsciously blocking out the idea of ever possibly falling in love with him? Or, perhaps, was she afraid of the fact that she herself might have changed?
Yet, Camilla realized that she loved Alois.
That simple yet all-important fact had just never crossed Camillaâs mind.
âI⌠Iâm going to talk to Lord Alois one more time.â
Holding her hands together, Camilla decided that. He might try to run away from her again. He might completely refuse to see her. But, she couldnât just do nothing, especially now.
âI will not let things end like this!â
She didnât truly understand her feelings herself. What Alois thought of her, and what she thought about Alois, Camilla had to make sure. If Alois was going to try and escape from her again, Camilla would have to pursue him harder than before.
â Because⌠how can I possibly return to the capital with things the way they are!?