Ch8.1 - ***

Warning: This chapter mentions sensitive and triggering issues such as sl*very, s*exual ab*se, physical ab*se, tort*re, acts of killing, self-harm, and dubious consent. If any of these could potentially cause emotional disturbance or trigger you in any way, you can skip this chapter. Otherwise, please proceed with extra caution.

The night was pitch black, and apparently, this world was no different. The only difference was the seven colored galaxies shelving into the indigo sky. Sitting by the window, Yuichiro gazed upon the sky which looked like a scattered cluster of small jewels. Beside him, a thick book was placed on the table. Painted in a familiar language on its old cover was the title, “OUR DIARY.

『OUR DIARY』

The book, titled “Our Diary,” had been given to him by Temeraire earlier. The book appeared to be written by the prior generations of goddesses for their successors.

Yuichiro flipped through a few pages and discovered that the book’s language varied depending on the goddess at the time. Although the majority of the entries were written in English, some were also written in Russian and Spanish. There were also languages he couldn’t understand on some of the pages.

He extracted only the parts that he could read as he flipped through the pages. The first few dozen pages provided some general information about this world and its differences from his own. The country’s name is Jeweld. It began as a confederated nation of five tribes that joined forces to form an alliance. According to the records, the White Tribe, the most powerful of the five tribes, became the current royal family. Other information in the book included the approximate population, names of neighboring countries, monetary units, and so on. Nevertheless, because no one knows when these records were made, they can only be kept on the outskirts of their memories.

The goddess’ bedroom, to which he was led, was like a beautiful prison. There was a luxurious canopy over the bed, and the furnishings in the room were of such high quality that it was easy to tell they were expensive at a glance. The windows, on the other hand, dampened the glorious image of the room. Thick iron bars mounted in a crisscross pattern on each window create an oppressive atmosphere, serving as a dreadful reminder to those insides that they would never be allowed to escape.

“As you requested, we have sent out groups of scouts. Short-range and long-range scouts, 5 units of 7 men each, heading in different directions and on different routes. Goat did the selection, so I’m sure there’s no mistake. The short-range scouts should have returned to the castle’s camp by dawn.”

“Good. Make every effort to locate the enemy camp as soon as possible.” Yuichiro briefly replied, without looking at Temeraire. However, there was no sign of the man leaving the room after the conversation ended. When he looked at Temeraire, he saw that Temeraire was looking at him with an indescribable expression on his face.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?”

“I’m not in the mood for sleep.”

“Shall I bring you something to eat for the night?”

“I’m not hungry and… I can’t sleep.”

Temeraire’s previous words, which sounded like he was attempting to pacify a child, brought a hint of a smile to Yuichiro’s face.

[Just a few hours ago, I was forced to eat a lot of food, so how hungry do you think I am now?]. Recalling back his memories, many of the ingredients in the dishes were new to him, but Yuichiro thought they tasted fine after eating them.

“Then, this…” Temeraire reached for a bottle on the nightstand beside his bed. “That’s…?” Yuichiro asked, noticing a translucent peach-colored liquid swaying in the bottle.

“It’s a drink made from a fruit called Shagrila,” Temeraire responded as he poured the liquid into a glass. Yuichiro accepted the offered glass and took a sip. A silky and sweet taste quickly spread across his tongue. The flavor was similar to peach, but it had a faint refreshing feeling, similar to Japanese sake. It gently warmed his body from within when it reached his stomach. The drink was sweet but not overpowering. As Yuichiro sipped the liquid, Temeraire immediately opened his mouth and inquired, “Does your arm still hurt?”

“Ahh..” Yuichiro lightly lifted his arm which was bitten by Noah. There were bandages on his bare arm, which had been wrapped by Temeraire. Temeraire quietly nodded, “Is there anything else?” after staring at the pure white bandages.

“—No, but… Instead of standing there, why don’t you sit here?” Temeraire hesitated for a moment after Yuichiro pointed to a chair at the round table provided in the room. Then, his face hardened, but nevertheless, he sat down on the chair. Yuichiro also moved from the window and sat on a chair across from him.

On the table, was a disassembled AK-47. As Temeraire gazed at its elaborate parts with scrutiny, he murmured, “I’ve never seen such an exquisite gun before. –I see. In that world, the gun has a simpler structure.”

“That’s why it’s sturdy,” Yuichiro explained.

Temeraire widened his eyes, “Yuichiro-sama’s world is much more technologically advanced than ours, isn’t it?”

“Maybe that’s the case with weapons. But what we’re doing isn’t all that different from here…”

“What do you mean?”

“No matter here or there, people are killing each other. That’s all.” Yuichiro spat out words without hesitation. This time, Temeraire maintained his expression and asked quietly in return, “Are you involved in works that required killing others?”

“That’s right.”

“Why?”

“For money,” Yuichiro replied. Since he was asked this before, a feeling of dejavu overwhelmed Yuichiro, and he lifted his head, looking straight at Temeraire. “Is it evil to kill people for the sake of making money?” Yuichiro continued with a smirk.

Temeraire’s nose bridge scrunched in frustration to Yuichiro’s answer. Despite the scowl on his face, Temeraire’s beauty remained intact.

“I don’t know if it’s evil or not, but I would like to know why you’re trying to get money.”

“—No reason.”

“Is that so…”

Suddenly, Temeraire leaned forward and stared intently at Yuichiro’s face. At the sudden closeness of Temeraire’s well-proportioned face in front of him, Yuichiro’s eyelids quivered momentarily. “Your face is a little scary,” he muttered to himself as he quickly averted his gaze.

“Are you scared?”

“Ah~ it’s so beautiful, it’s creepy.” Yuichiro blurted out, unsure whether his words were meant to be a compliment or disrespectful. Temeraire, on the other hand, remained emotionless, not showing even a glimpse of his emotions.

“It’s regrettable that you think I am creepy, but if you think that I am beautiful, that makes me happy,” Temeraire responded.

“You… don’t look like happy at all.”

“Yes… After all, this face and body don’t belong to me.”

At Temeraire’s cryptic words, Yuchiro blinked his eyes dumbfoundedly. Temeraire then gently placed his palm on the back of Yuichiro’s hand. Temeraire’s hand was slightly hot.

“My face, body, and life all belong to you, Yuichiro-sama,” Temeraire voiced, with a tone that lacked enthusiasm. In addition, his voice was neither blind nor paranoid. He was, in fact, speaking as if it were unbending fact. Nonetheless, the dreadfulness of those words penetrated deep into Yuichiro’s body through his skin.

“I don’t feel well.”

“That hurts more than the creepy thing you just said.”

“It can’t be helped because it’s true. I don’t have any intention in taking you.”

“Even so, I’m still yours, Yuichiro-sama. For I am the one who serves and devotes himself to you.”

“Why does that matter?” Yuichiro brushed off Temeraire’s hand, which rested on the back of his hand.

Temeraire looked at his hand for a moment, then at Yuichiro with a brooding gaze, and said, “When the Goddess appears, someone, will be chosen to serve the Goddess by Hōshu. Those who serve and devote themselves to the Goddess are, simply put, slaves.”

Yuichiro furrowed his brows in response to Temeraire’s blunt words. When he asked again for affirmation, Temeraire laughed faintly. It was a self-mocking laugh.

“Most of the Goddesses who transferred over to this world would lose their mental stability. They would cry, scream, and even hurt themselves. It is the ‘servants’ duties to do whatever it takes to keep their master’s mind stable.”

“Anything?”

“Yes. Some goddesses have used their servants as sandbags or s*x toys. They would sever their hands and feet, tie them to the bed, and treat them as if they were mere towering sticks. I’ve heard that the last of those who served them were strangled to death during s*xual intercourse. Others were collared and walked like dogs and urinated outdoors.”

Yuichiro immediately stopped Temeraire, “Hey, stop talking. If I listen to any more than this, I’ll beat you to a pulp myself.” A sick feeling of disgust and disgust surged like vomit from deep within his chest. Temeraire’s lips continued to erupt with a faint voice. “If it’s you…You can hit me if you want.”

Yuichiro snapped as soon as he heard Temeraire’s remarks. Anger flooded his mind, and his hand moved on its own. He thrust his right hand into the air, intending to strike Temeraire on the cheek. His arm, however, became frozen in mid-air.

Temeraire fixed his gaze on Yuichiro. He stared at Yuichiro as if he were looking at his God, his mother, or something absolute. Yuichiro couldn’t bring himself to lower his fist after looking into Temeraire’s childlike eyes.

“You, do you think it’s okay to be beaten just because I’m a Goddess?”

“Maybe… Or maybe not.”

Yuichiro’s arm trembled in anger as he was frustrated by Temeraire’s ambiguous response. “Don’t screw around!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just… I really don’t understand. I hated you before I met you. I hated the goddess, my role, and you to the point of nausea. The moment I was chosen to serve you, I was plunged into darkness. I thought all the life I had lived so desperately, all the dreams and hopes I had held onto, had all been for naught. Thinking that I would be someone’s ‘ broken toy,’ I even thought that it would be better if I died. Even if it was for the sake of this country, I even prayed that a goddess would never come to this world and die elsewhere. And yet…”

The end of Temeraire’s sentence was blurred and cut off. He then looked down with his shoulders trembling slightly as if he were holding back from sobbing.

As Yuichiro watched this, his arm unexpectedly grabbed Temeraire’s firm grip. There was heat in Temeraire’s eyes as he looked up at Yuichiro. His eyes filled with blazing heat which could not be concealed.

“The moment I saw you, everything turned inside out. I could feel my heart changing on its own. I would do anything for you. I would even give my life for you. You are maddeningly dear….”

“—Don’t touch me.”

Temeraire’s fingers dug into Yuichiro’s arm. “What is this? It’s so weird that my mind has changed so much. Yes, you are right; it is weird. I don’t know what’s going on in my mind, and I feel sick and nauseous. And yet, I can’t stop. It’s like a curse.”

Yuichiro felt intense fear creeping up from the depths of his skin. He had not felt anything like this in a long time. It was a fear unlike anything he had ever experienced in battle; it was as if a ghost had grabbed his arm and dragged him into a black river.

“Temeraire…,” Yuichiro called Temeraire’s name quietly in an attempt to calm him down.

Unbeknownst to Yuichiro, his lips were suddenly being devoured in the next moment. In front of him was Temeraire’s face. It was an utterly beastlike kiss. Temeraire’s tongue immediately dug into his half-opened lips. It was soft and slick like a snake. Both tongues were entwined and rubbed against each other forcibly. Continuous saliva was poured and sucked in return in his mouth. He shuddered beneath his skin at the taste of someone else’s saliva.

Temeraire’s blue eyes were peering into him with unmistakable lust. Simultaneously, he could feel the same ferocious, vicious, and repulsive lust a man would have for a woman within him. Soon after, his right hand began to move on its own. A fist landed on Temeraire’s cheek, causing him to fall to the floor with a loud thud, along with Yuichiro’s backpack, its contents scattered.

“You! Are you going to treat me like a woman?” Yuichiro yelled, his voice hoarse, as he wiped the saliva running down his lower jaw with the back of his palm.

Temeraire slowly raised his upper body and looked at Yuichiro with smoldering heat in his eyes. “You are a Goddess.”

“Is that why you want me to behave like a woman? Do you expect me to accept and moan like a woman when a man comes at me?!”

“You must conceive the king’s child someday.” Temeraire’s indifferent words made Yuichiro’s blood rush to his head.

Afterward, Yuichiro kicked his chair and saddled on top of Temeraire. He grabbed the man’s chest while glaring at him at close range. Temeraire’s cheeks redden at Yuichiro’s continuous beatings and also from his own heightened arousal. At the sight of this, Yuichiro shuddered with horror.

The next moment, Temeraire gently stretched his fingertips and brushed them against Yuichiro’s lower lips. Yuichiro’s lips trembled miserably at the touch.

“It pains me that you belong to another man, even if it’s Noah-sama.” Yuichiro swallowed his intended curses aimed at Temeraire back in his throat after hearing the man’s voice was filled with lust mixed with sorrow. For the first time in his life, he experienced indescribable fear as a result of disgust.

“You want to f*ck me?” Yuichiro uttered words that tasted like vomit.

Temeraire, in turn, raised his gaze to Yuichiro’s disgusted expression. He blinked several times as if he were a naïve child who had no idea what Yuichiro was saying. Later, Temeraire traced his fingertips across Yuichiro’s lower lip, then down to his throat and chest.

Yuichiro’s heart skipped a beat when Temeraire’s hand landed on his left chest.

“I want to touch you.”

“Hah!” Yuichiro snorted involuntarily. On the other hand, Temeraire looked straight up at Yuichiro, who was sneering at him, and his face twisted into a frown. It was a sweet and pitiful expression, like a child clinging to his parents.

“I want to touch your heart.”

Translator’s Notes

I love the conversation MC having with Temeraire here. It provides a glimpse of their emotional state about various things. For example, I initially thought that Temeraire readily accepted his situation, but after knowing the background of these so-called Goddess ‘servants’ in the past, makes me think that, just like Noah, he too did not want to be placed in his current circumstances. The same goes for our MC too. No matter how tough or strong he seemingly is, Yuichiro also laments his unfortunate situation and curses his role as a Goddess. Personally, I can foresee how these two characters will bond emotionally in the future, probably seeking refuge within each other. So, what do you readers think? I would love to read your comments below.