I canât really recall why I was standing in the garden when the sun is about to set.
I feel like I wanted to give something.
To that woman who he loves and who is also a dear friend of mine.
âââ Yes.
The small box in my hand.
I wanted to give her the box wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper and tied with a ribbon.
I chose this gift carefully because I wanted to see her happy face and see her enjoy it even if she couldnât see the gift.
I visited her room, but she wasnât there, then I met her maid, Elisa, while I was walking, and she told me that she was in the garden.
She had probably taken a walk for a change of pace, so I thought it would be bad if I disturbed her. I could pass it to her tomorrow, but Elisa had said something unpleasant, and I wanted to do something about my discomfort, so I went to meet her in the end.
The eerie feeling that I was sinking in a swamp should feel better if I meet her, talk about trivial things and see her smile broadly.
It was cold outside.
The air was clear, the sky was covered in thin clouds like a haze and dyed in red.
The sun was red like blood and was about to set beyond the smoky mountains.
âââPerhaps she could feel the golden light drifting about even if she canât see.
I imagined this as I walked through the garden that was changing from winter to spring.
The plants were sprouting, the flowers were growing buds, and the withered grass was returning to green.
In another half a month, it will get warmer, and the pretty flowers will start blooming everywhere.
My room is filled with jasmine which Claire had picked, and roses that that person had given me.
Red, white, yellow, light pink, and orange. The roses come in many different colours.
And I welcome the happiest spring of my life.
The first and last happiest days of my lifeâââ.
I walked around the rose garden, but I couldnât find her, so I walked between the rose hedges which were like a maze.
Then, I heard cute laughter out of nowhere.
There was someone behind the hedge.
I heard the low voice of a man speaking along with a bright and beautiful voice.
I thought it might have been her, but I wasnât sure.
I looked between the gaps in the hedge to check.
I was going to sneak off without saying anything if it was a servantâs tryst.
She was there.
The light laughter belonged to her and next to her was that person.
They sat side by side in a white chair in the open space beyond the hedge and were chatting happily.
âââ I finally found her.
I felt relieved when I saw them. I carefully adjusted the item in my hand and walked towards them.
I donât plan on disturbing them.
I will give this to her, have a little conversation and then leave right away.
I saw it then.
From the gap that was slightly opened between the rose trees, with the light of the setting sun shining on him, I saw him smile gently and lovingly. I had never seen this smile on him before.
âââ Ah, why?
It is more beautiful than anything else in the world and shines brighter than the golden scenery of a sunset.
â⊠am, Madam.â
My body was shaking, and I woke up. I saw Reneeâs poker-face as she sat across from me when I opened my eyes.
âMadam, weâll be at the mansion soon.â
I nodded sluggishly and rubbed my heavy eyelids that felt like lead.
I had dozed off on the way back to the mansion from Claudeâs apartment.
The dull shaking of the carriage invited sleepiness at the best times, but I stayed up late chatting with Claude last night, so it spurred me to sleep.
I saw a familiar view when I looked out the window.
The road was lined with lush green maple trees, and it made it seem like the city area where the buildings were cramped together was a dream.
On the other side of the trees was a deep green forest. Some roads off to the side lead to villas owned by nobles, and stylish roofs and chimneys were peeking out from between the gaps of the trees.
Running along this tree-lined road was a forest, and we should arrive at the white mansion owned by the Rosenstein House.
âIâll take another nap when we get back to the mansion.â
Countess Rosenstein is a lazy woman.
It is appropriate for her to take a nap until evening after returning from her loverâs house.
*Fuwaah* I let out a big yawn and crossed my legs as if it were tiresome.
We passed the forest while I was spacing out, and I can see the white mansion. It was a beautiful mansion which was built on a clear plot of land, and it shone under the blue sky.
The white cobblestone pavement extended straight into the vast garden, the fresh grass, tall plants that never wither even in winter, and fountains filled with rich water.
Various flowers are planted in the flower beds according to the season. Colourful roses bloom in summer and autumn, and their sweet smell drifts in the air.
If heaven does exist, then it would surely be a place like the rose garden of the Rosenstein estate.
The scenery of heaven that I imagined overlapped with the landscape of the Rosenstein mansion garden.
Before long, the carriage entered the estate and stopped in front of the front door.
I got off the carriage with the help of the coachman and entered the magnificent mansion.
I passed through the front door and entered an old-fashioned room that felt just as old as it looked. It was usually quiet here, but today was different.
A burst of bright and beautiful laughter sounded through the room.
It stopped as soon as I had entered the hall and only a light reverberation remained.
âMadam,â I had already seen them even without Renee telling me anything.
The man and woman who had their arms crossed in a friendly manner as they stood in the middle of the mildly arched stairs.
âWhatâs wrong? Orphe,â the woman asked curiously.
The man looked straight down at me, but the woman didnât notice me.
Her eyes were looking restlessly around the room and werenât on me who was standing at the entrance.
âOrphe?â
The man kept his eyes on me as he whispered something into the womanâs ears.
Then, the woman opened her eyes in surprise, and her movements stopped as if she was frozen.
I looked up coldly at her and glared at the man in the deafening silence.
Then, I said, âGood morning, Orpheus and Diana. You both still get along well. Are you going for a walk now?â
Orpheus and Diana.
The two people standing up there are my husband and his cousin.
The two were openly linking hands in front of me; they didnât simply just get along.
They are both genuine lovers, and Diana couldnât see, so they would link arms like this.
She was freeloading at this house because she was blind, and the previous Lord of the Rosenstein House had taken her in because she lost her parents and her eyesight in an epidemic.
âItâs a beautiful day today. Itâs perfect for a walk. Please take your time and have fun,â my pointless high-pitched voice resounded. Orpheus didnât move a single eyebrow, but Diana hung her head down awkwardly.
I raised my lips as if I was sneering at them and squinted.
âOphelia, ummâŠâ Diana said.
I walked up the stairs, stopped and raised my face.
The two were close to me, and I could reach them if I went up another two or three steps.
Dianaâs face stiffened more awkwardly, probably because she could feel me close by.
âWhat is it?â
âIf you wantâŠâ Diana spoke with restraint.
âWould you have lunch with us outside? We were just about to go have lunch. The sun is warm, and the roses have bloomed so beautifullyâŠâ
âOh, how nice,â I interrupted her and smiled as if I was ridiculing her.
It might have no meaning against Diana since she couldnât see, but it was effective on Orpheus.
His expression, which hadnât even twitched until now, changed, and he frowned.
I saw this, and my smile deepened.
âBut Iâll refuse. Iâll just be bothering you two.â
âNo, youâŠâ
âShould I say that itâs uncomfortable, so I donât want to? Itâs not fun being with you two. It just feels uncomfortable to see you two showing off. And you know, even if youâre alright with it, it doesnât look like your partner thinks the same? If you look at his face⊠Oh my, sorry. You canât see, can you? Well then, thatâs too bad. You canât guess what your beloved cousin is thinking.â
âOphelia,â Orpheus, who had remained silent for a long time, finally spoke.
He only said one word, which was my nameâââ.
But that one word contained many emotions. What does he want from me? What is that woman to him? It made me realise unpleasant things.
âWhat is it?â
âThere are things you can and canât say.â
âI know. So what?â
Instead of answering, Orpheus sent me a cold and icy glance.
I also glared at him as not to lose and curled my lips.
âAh, I see. So thatâs what youâre angry about. But, Orpheus, I only told the truth. Itâs true that she canât see and that she can remain calm because she canât see the scary face youâre making next to her. Well, the truth is so cruel sometimes that people want to give up their lives.â
âOphelia, stop thatâŠâ
âI-itâs fine, Orphe!â
Diana clung to Orpheusâs arm and shook as if she was brushing away the tense mood.
âOphelia is right, itâs all true. I donât care,â she said as she turned her face to where I was.
âOphelia, Iâve said this many times before, but weâre not in a suspicious relationship. Sure, Orpheus cares for me one way or another, and he does accompany me when I go out. But thatâs because he feels sorry for me, and not because he has any special feelings for meâŠâ
âIt doesnât matter,â I spat out and glared at the woman who was gasping.
âI donât care about your excuses. I also donât want to hear any more of your nonsense. Iâm not interested. Itâs stupid.â
âBut, whyâŠ? Ophelia, how do we get you to believe us?â
âHey, Diana. Do you know what rumours the world spreads about you two? Lord Rosenstein is more affectionate with his blind cousin, who lives in the same mansion, than with his heartless wife who has a lover⊠Thatâs what they say. Donât you think that this is a more serious problem than whether I believe you or not?â
âNo! Ophelia, itâs not like that. Orpheus doesnât love me, but youâŠâ
âMe? Love? Or does he hate me so much that he doesnât even want to see me? Which one is it? Fufufu⊠Diana, that person, he only thinks of me as a hairy caterpillar who bites on rose leaves. Itâs evident in the way heâs been glaring at me for a while now and how he refuses to say anything. Jeez, the look on your beloved cousinâs face⊠I really want to show it to you.â
Orpheus stared at me and sighed as if heâd given up.
âLetâs go, Diana. Itâs pointless to say anything else.â
âBut, OrpheâŠâ
âGo ahead, you donât have to worry about me. I donât plan on accompanying you on this stupid farce any longer.â
I ignored Diana, who looked as if she was trying to say something and passed them.
Then, Orpheus whispered in his low voice, âIt seems like we need to have a thorough talk with just the two of us.â
I stopped and frowned as if I was regretting what I did, âI refuse. I donât want to hear you lecture me, and I donât have anything to talk to you about. If you have free time, then give your attention to your cute Diana.â
Diana called me, but I didnât turn back.
I quickly went up the stairs and returned to my room on the 2 <sup>nd</sup> floor. As soon as I got into the room, I violently stripped off my hair ornaments and necklace and threw them furiously at the mirror.
âArgh! Iâm tired!â I collapsed onto the couch as I watched Renee pick up the ornaments, laid on my back and shouted.
âââ Iâm honestly exhausted.
I had to sit in the shaking carriage while lacking sleep and then I was, unfortunate, to come across those two together.
Also, we had an exchange where it would have been better if weâd ignored each other.
My body and mind are tired.
Iâm so tired that my head hurts.
If it had just been my husband there, then it would have been fine, but it was challenging to act like that when his cousin is also there.
I want to cry when I see her sad, and when I hear her shameless excuses, I get angry enough to want to push her away.
My feelings for Diana are more complicated than my feelings for Orpheus.
âIâve had enough. Itâs too much trouble to change. Iâll just sleep like this. Ah, but before that⊠Renee, call Claire here after youâve finished putting away my things. I need to talk to her for a little bit⊠Whatâs with that look? Itâs not like Iâm going to bully her. I just want to ask her something. Gah, Iâm sleepy so leave my things over there and call Claire first! Iâll get her to do something about them, you can just change with Claire!â
Renee bowed deeply and walked out of the room.
After a while, a soft knock sounded at the door, so I said, âCome in.â Claireâs terrified face popped out from behind the door.
âI, Iâm sorry for making you wait, Madam. I heard that you were asking for meâŠâ
âYouâre late!â I got up furiously and yelled at Claire.
Her tiny body immediately curled within itself, and her face looked like she was going to cry at any moment.
âIâm sorry.â
After I stared at her for a while, my attitude changed, and I smiled.
âYouâre terrific, Claire. You looked just like a maid who fears her selfish mistress. You looked like an abused puppy.â
Claire smiled brightly as if her frightened attitude from before was just a lie. âNo way, Iâm no match for you, Madam. Madamâs realistic acting sometimes sends shivers down my spine. Itâs scary even if I know that youâre acting like that on purposeâŠâ
âReally? But youâre better at it than me.â
Countess Rosenstein is hated by the people of this mansion because of her selfishness.
But not all the servants are my enemy.
There is one person who knows about my circumstances, and that is Claire.
She has been taking care of me ever since I got married to my husband and has served me very well.
I confessed my feelings for my husband to her while crying, and she promised that she would stay by my side no matter what happens and would cooperate with me until I am satisfied.
She usually pretends to be frightened of me and help my notoriety grow, but when weâre alone, we return to our original relationship.
She listens to me and comforts me.
Thatâs why I try to laugh in front of Claire.
When I laugh, she also smiles with ease.
It was hard for me to laugh from the bottom of my heart, but it was easy to fake it.
I can act like a foolish woman because I have Claudeâs and Claireâs support, and they are both important to me.
âIâm sure you have talent for theatre, Claire⊠Oh- yes!â
I got up and began searching through my things that were placed at the corner of the room.
I took out a light brown bag from inside and offered it to Claire, who was approaching me in curiosity, âItâs for you.â
âTheyâre baked sweets. I made them with Claude yesterday. Theyâre delicious, so eat it when you get hungry.â
I sometimes give Claire presents in secret.
I made some baked sweets with Claude yesterday and brought some back with me because I wanted to give them to her.
âOh, Madam!â
âSorry for giving you something like that. I want to give you something better, but I couldnât go to the market this time⊠If I get the chance to visit the market next time, then Iâll buy you something better.â
âBut Madam, itâs fine! Itâs more than I deserve!â
âItâs not. You really do a great job looking after me. Thereâs no punishment for giving you something as thanks. I really want to give Renee something as well, but sheâll grow suspicious of me if I do it now.â
âBut Madam, we have our wagesâŠâ
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âI always give you a hard time, so itâs fine for you to receive something on top of that, right? Itâs also a way for me to give you my gratitude⊠You eat that properly and tell me what you think of it, okay? Iâm confident that it tastes good.â
Claire rubbed her watery eyes and said, âThank you very much,â as she held the bag carefully.
We chatted as we usually did and got hungry, so we snacked on the baked sweets. We spent time together peacefully.
I felt a little better after that and would have probably been fine staying up, but I had told Renee that I was going to take a nap. Claire helped me change my clothes, and I went to bed.