âThis is where I live now. Doesnât look more than eight square meters.â Yan Hang [1] sat on the revolving chair, phone in hand. His toes tapped the floor, turning the chair around.
[1] YĂ n HĂĄngâs name (æèȘ) is pronounced roughly as âyee-ihn hawngâ. His surname is âæYĂ nâ, and his name is âèȘHĂĄngâ, meaning âboat/to navigateâ.
[Nicer than the last one, but a bit messy. You havenât tidied up after so many days?]
A comment flashed across the screen.
âIâm still hibernating.â Yan Hang yawned. âToo lazy to move.â
[Will you see that kid again today?]
Asked another.
âThat kid⊠I dunno,â Yan Hang leaned his head back and looked at the living room. âIâll go wait by the window.â
[Hope he wonât get bullied today, makes me sad.]
Yan Hang didnât speak. He rose and slowly ambled into the living room to stand by the window.
In his 17 years of life, he and his father had moved countless times into countless different houses.
This time, they resided on the first floor of an apartment building neighbouring a small street. It was quite clean, much better than the last one behind the wet market â at least it didnât smell funny.
It was just a bit noisy after school.
The neighbourhood was large, so many children big and small walked this road to and from school.
Yan Hang opened the window and sat on the sill.
The weather was a little cold, and the breeze brisk. The air he breathed in was cool as mint.
He really liked this window sill. There were no security bars, and the sill was attached to the radiator cupboard, almost like a window nook. It was very comfortable to lie down and sunbathe there in the afternoon.
The kid that everyone wanted to see had yet to pass by.
But it was about time. Every day, he would pass by a little later than the other students â perhaps because he didnât want to leave at the same time as his classmates, or perhaps because he would be waylaid at school and couldnât leave on time.
Yan Hang set his phone on the window seat facing the outside, neither looking at the screen nor making a sound.
After two to three minutes, a few uniform-clad students walked past, throwing a school bag back and forth.
Yan Hang grabbed his phone and pointed it in their direction. âHere they come. Letâs see what these deadwood disgraces to the nation are going to do today.â
Behind the students pitching the school bag was a small, short one. Several remarks drifted across the screen â [seems peaceful today?]
âItâs not,â spoke Yan Hang. âThatâs his bag.â
The school bag was old, changing shape as it was pitched back and forth â first squarish, then long, then diagonal. Every time the bag arced through the air, another book or pen fell out.
But today, the deadwood students were a little gentler than usual, not hitting him.
The main character of the livestream followed quietly behind, occasionally bending down to pick something up.
He didnât even look at his bag, nor the ones throwing his bag around and yelling at him. It was as if they didnât exist. He simply walked on, hands full of his things, standing aside whenever they stopped.
The bag didnât have much in it; it emptied after being thrown around for two minutes. The students tossed it aside. One slapped his stuff from his hands, scattering them across the ground. The group happily trod on them before going on their way.
The child squatted down to pick up his things. Yan Hang leapt down from the window and back into the house.
[Not streaming anymore?]
Came a question on the screen.
âNope,â said Yan Hang. âToo depressing.â
Without looking at the screen, he exited straight away, tossed the phone aside, and leaned back in his chair.
Judging from the uniforms, they mustâve been lower secondary students from the nearby 82nd Secondary School. When Yan Hang had gone for a stroll around lunchtime, he lost his way and ended up walking past the gates of 82nd Secondary three times, etching it into his memory.
The school was quite secure. The third time he passed, the school guard came out and glared at him till he was over a hundred metres away. Yan Hang had been tempted to blow him a kiss.
For the past four days â that is, every day since the day heâd moved here, whether it was after noon or evening classes, he would see this flying-school-bag boy being bullied by all sorts of people. The people and the methods they used differed every day.
Yan Hang poured himself a glass of water. For the first time in about half a month, he felt sleepy. Perhaps he was just too depressed.
He glanced at the time, then put on his headphones, closing his eyes and lying in bed.
Do you love me?
Do you need me?
Do you want me?
Do you love me?
He softly hummed along to the music in his ears, adding a single word to the end of every line.
âNo.â
Half asleep, Yan Hang heard the doorbell ring. Then came the voice of his father who had disappeared for a day and a half: âI have returned.â
Yan Hang was silent. He was very sleepy.
âSon?â His dad put his things away and called out, âBeloved prince, your royal Highness?â
Yan Hang sighed inwardly. Just as he was thinking of forcing himself awake, his dad walked into his room and called out in a suddenly altered voice: âYan Hang!â
Before he could blink, he felt his arm being grabbed by his dad and violently hauled upwards. âYan Hang, whatâs wrong!?â
âFuck.â Yan Hang frowned and opened his eyes. His arm was numb from being yanked and his neck cracked loudly. âIf I really was trying to kill myself, I think youâd have extinguished my last breath right there.â
âWhy are you in bed at this hour?â Dad asked.
âSleepy.â Yan Hang looked at him. âYouâre in a good mood today, my king.â
âI got some money.â Dad laughed and turned to go. âGet up, weâre going to a restaurant⊠oh right, I got you a university English textbook, apparently itâs for English majors and itâs âintensive readingâ⊠no clue what that means, though. Have a look and see if itâs okay?â
âAnythingâs okay.â Yan Hang unplugged his ears and got out of bed.
âMy sonâs amazing. Never been to school,â Dadâs voice came from the living room, âbut reading university English books.â
âI graduated from primary school.â Yan Hang leaned against the door.
âTrue,â Dad nodded, âI kept the certificate. Itâs a family treasure.â
ââŠletâs go eat.â Yan Hang sighed.
Having only moved in a few days ago, they didnât know any good restaurants. Yan Hang wanted to look them up on his phone, but Dad decided to try their luck.
âWeâll follow this road, turn left, and go to the second restaurant we see. Okay?â Dad said.
âSure.â Yan Hang nodded.
Dad had always been this way, exploring unknown territory with him. It was a game theyâd played over the past decade or so.
Sometimes it ended in pleasant surprise, sometimes in horror.
Sometimes⊠painfully.
Like today.
When they were looking to rent, the estate agent had boasted about the house as if it was the centre of the universe. Fortunately, they had many years of renting experience, and could gauge the conditions of the house after some basic questions.
It was in a small, rundown area.
But strangely, the agent hadnât been too far off. Because when they walked down the road that Dad had pointed out, it turned into a flourishing modern high street.
When they turned left, the second restaurant they saw was a fancy Japanese one.
âWhat now?â Dad turned to look at him.
âYou chose it. Eat it and weep,â said Yan Hang.
âLetâs go.â Dad waved his hand and walked into the restaurant.
He strutted in with confidence. This had happened a fair few times before; Dad was always confident walking in, but not necessarily walking out.
âMy prince,â said Dad as he stood on the pavement, rubbing his tummy, âdid we eat this meal, or no?â
âWe did,â Yan Hang answered honestly.
âDo you remember how much the bill came to?â asked Dad.
â940 bucks. We made a card and loaded 1000 onto it, so we saved 10%,â said Yan Hang. âWe spent 846 bucks.â [2]
âI guess it wasnât just me, then.â Dad drew the card from his shirt pocket and passed it over to him. âThereâs 154 bucks left, go eat there whenever you want to.â
âHow generous.â Yan Hang eyed him, then tucked the card into his trouser pocket.
âShall we head back?â asked his dad.
âIâll treat you to noodles,â said Yan Hang.
âHuh?â Dad stared at him. âWe just ate almost a thousand yuanâs worth of Japanese food. Donât you feel like having noodles will be an insult to that 846 bucks?â
âDo you want to or not?â asked Yan Hang.
âOkay okay, letâs go.â Dad pushed him back down the street, âI saw a beef noodle place when we were on our way hereâŠâ
The beef noodles werenât bad at all. Big bowls, a lot of noodles, and most importantly a full layer of large beef slices â very pleasing to the eye.
âThis bowl was just 15 bucks,â Dad said.
âMhm.â Yan Hang nodded as he ate. âEat first, we can go back and mourn your 1000 bucks later.â
âAlright.â Dad lowered his head and dug in.
When he was about to finish, he raised his head again. âHey, Hang.â
âYeah,â Yan Hang responded.
âDo you want to go to school?â asked Dad. âThis place doesnât seem too bad, we might stay for longer.â
âNo,â Yan Hang quickly replied.
âOkay.â Dad was blunt too. âI see you reading a lot at home, so I was wondering if you might want to go to school. Itâd be good to socialise with people.â
âTwo things: I can socialise at work,â said Yan Hang, âand I have never wanted to go to school, not even primary school.â
âTrue, you even made me ask the school if you could drop out.â Dad laughed. âI got a hell of a scolding from your Ms LĂŒ.â
Yan Hang laughed as well.
Ms LĂŒ was the only teacher he could still remember. She was an exceptionally kind old lady. The last time they had met was at his primary school graduation.
The old lady frankly expressed her dissatisfaction towards his father.
âSuch a good child,â she said, âI worry that your father will raise you poorly.â
Not long after they got home, Dad left again without saying where he was going.
Yan Hang didnât ask either. In all these years, he had never asked what his dad was up to when he appeared and disappeared without rhyme or reason.
Dad always came back anyway.
He was used to it.
Dad simultaneously gave him a strong sense of security, as well as a deep insecurity.
He tidied up the house a little. Since they might be staying for a while, it was better to unpack and arrange things.
He didnât have many things: a trunk full of clothes and a bag of random playthings.
Dad had even fewer things. There were only the few garments in his suitcase. Sometimes he felt as if Dadâs life was a vacation, and a short one at that.
He couldnât even count how many places he and Dad had been to together, how many times theyâd changed addresses. Sometimes they didnât even rent a house, just staying in a hotel; sometimes theyâd go back to the same place again and again.
âI wish I could return to that old place,â Yan Hang flopped onto the bed and took his phone out, âI wish I could walk down that old roadâŠâ [3]
[3] A lyric from Greenhouse Girl by Cui Jian (ćŽć„ â è±æżć§ćš)
He had a load of messages on Weibo [4]. Yan Hang cast a glance over them: nothing interesting. He responded to a message asking if he would do another livestream today with a âNoâ before tossing his phone aside and putting his headphones on.
[4] A Chinese social networking platform.
Recently heâd had bouts of insomnia. Just when he had been sleepy this afternoon, his dad came and yanked his arm.
Yan Hang stared at the ceiling. To make himself sleepy, he listened to rain sounds, to the sound of wind amongst bamboo leaves, to gentle guitar music⊠but though he lay till his back was numb, it was pointless.
He got up, put on a tracksuit, and went out.
It was almost 3am at this point. There was no one on the streets, but under the lonely street lights one occasionally heard the sound of a car brushing past.
The end of the street was bustling; at its peak, neon lights dyed the skyline.
But the place he lived was the slum behind the brilliance, as youâd see in many a city. They were two different worlds â or perhaps the slum was like the shadow of the brilliance.
Yan Hang tucked his earphones in and put on running music. He inhaled and began his run.
He quite liked running. It was the best way to kill time.
The route went from the rundown neighbourhood to 82nd Secondary, round the school a few times, then back to the main road. When he passed the Japanese restaurant, he doubled back twice for memoryâs sake.
Covered in sweat in the northern breeze after running almost all the roads in the vicinity, he finally went home.
He showered, then looked through his bag and took two pills. Lying on his bed, fatigue overtook him at last â he felt sleepy when he closed his eyes.
Combined with the effects of the medication, he slept till noon.
Heâd sat up for almost five minutes before he realised it was noon.
His brain was a bit muddled from sleep and he wasnât hungry. Yan Hang decided to skip lunch. Grabbing the English book his father gave him, he sat on the window sill.
He sat there till evening, switching back and forth between his book and his phone. He read ten or more pages and watched a meaningless variety show.
It was about time now. Yan Hang messed about with his phone a bit. If the kid hadnât shown up, he would usually only livestream if he were really bored. But now, it wasnât just his handful of similarly bored fans; he was a bit curious about the kid himself.
Would he fight back?
How bad did it have to get before he did?
Yan Hang adjusted his posture, leaned against the window frame, and turned his phone on.
It turned out that a number of people were eagerly waiting to watch. In silence, he pointed the camera towards the street. It wasnât long before the discussion began.
Why were things like this, why didnât anyone care? Yan Hang sighed.
Whatâs with all the whys? He stopped asking why long ago.
After a few minutes, the main character of the livestream entered the frame first. This was the first time in the past few days.
Heâd been pushed.
The window gave a view of about a hundred metres of road. You couldnât really see much of the path between there and the school, but these hundred metres were the last bit of road that those lowlifes would walk together before each heading home, so it was always here that the show would reach its climax before ending.
The protagonist staggered two steps forward, then looked behind.
It may have been unconscious, but this was the first time in the past few days that heâd reacted in a way that might be termed ârebelliousâ.
A few boys walked into the frame and kicked his lower back.
Yan Hang tsk-ed.
It looked serious.
Next, another boy kicked his leg.
From the looks of it, everyone was getting a kick in at a time.
The street food vendors nearby couldnât stand it. Two of them yelled at the boys.
But it had no effect. A few boys shouted back viciously.
After his days of watching, Yan Hang sort of understood. This kid didnât fight back. Yan Hang wasnât sure, but it seemed that his reaction was always calm, as if he was living in another world where he could not hear, see, nor feel.
To the lowlifes, this was the most infuriating response they could receive. In Yan Hangâs experience, they wouldnât stop until they got a reaction out of him.
When the kick-and-walk was directly across from him, one of the boys pulled a glass bottle from his bag and threw it at the protagonistâs shoulder.
The thick bottle shattered.
âItâs a bit too much today,â said Yan Hang. He pulled his leg up and leapt down from the window.
Several messages flashed across the screen. Yan Hang stuck his hand in his pocket. All he had was his mask â not even a set of keys.
âI dunno,â he said. âI just canât watch, itâs too awful.â
When he reached the road, Yan Hang finally saw the protagonistâs face for the first time.
He wasnât wrong. The boyâs face was calm.
Completely, preternaturally calm.
So calm it made one uncomfortable. Whether it was saddening or something else, Yan Hang couldnât say â with his primary school education, he couldnât find the right words.
Half the bottle was still airborne. The string attached to the bottle was hooked onto the boyâs finger. Just as he raised his hand to throw the half-bottle at the protagonistâs face, Yan Hang whistled.
It was piercing. Besides spacing out and running, Yan Hangâs best skill was probably whistling.
Dad liked to whistle. Wanting a partner, he made sure that Yan Hang could duet with him before Yan Hang had even gone to primary school. The two used to sit by the road and whistle at girls who passed.
This whistle attracted the attention of the lowlifes. They turned to look at him.
Yan Hang walked over without a word. He placed his phone on a pile of unused bricks, facing the scene, then put on his mask. He had never revealed his face on the livestream â the tradition had to be kept.
The screen went wild. He didnât have time to look. The lowlifes had turned, and two of them were coming over to him.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â one of the boys asked, glaring.
âFrom now on,â Yan Hang pointed, âheâll be under my protection.â