The end of the weekend seemed to signify that Jiang Chen and I have also ended contact. I've been working for three days and only then did I got a call from Jiang Chen. He simply called me to explain that he was very busy and didn't say anything else. I still insisted and gave him three calls, two of which went through but nobody answered, and one went through with us giving hurried greetings to each other, he's still able to eat rice*. (T/N: It means to do something deliberately to show people the state of things.)
Situ Mo would often taunt me, saying, "Why does your boyfriend seems to be there but not there, and seems to be hidden but also visible ah."
I cursed her saying her husband and the female scientist in the laboratory would make a test-tube baby or something.
Early morning of Thursday, I was in the office doing a 'case' which was the design on the box for a certain brand of blow dryer. It's actually very easy, put a photo of the product, put the logo of the brand, put a brief info regarding the product's function, put the lines needed for promotion, and it's over. I don't like this kind of job but I like my co-workers here, because I'm someone who can't handle complex human relationships, and my two co-workers, Fu Pei and Situ Mo, are both relatively simple people.
But I was exceptionally irritable at work today, I hit the table and told Situ Mo. "What's the point in living like this, doing these pointless things every day, I can't see any future."
Situ Mo fished out a lollipop from her bag and threw it at me, "I'm giving you my son's candy, don't say such childish words again."
Don't say such childish words again. But day after day, we are all moving forward in uncertainty, just like walking in the dark, no one knows what our every footfall would step on, or what kind of future it would take us.
I said solemnly, "I ate your son's candy, I'll dedicate my body and soul to him, okay."
Situ Mo said, "Get lost you pedophile."
Speaking of pedophilia, I can't help but think of Su Rui, he called me last night, saying his life was dull. Design? Empty. Business? Miserable. The final conclusion was that he was lacking a muse that would lead him through his chaotic life with zero inspirations, and under his considerations, I vaguely think I was probably 'that' muse.
I said I reconciled with Jiang Chen. He said, "It is said that in the great affairs of the world under the heavens, that which is long divided must unite, and that which is long united must divide*."
(T/N: This quote originated from the Chinese historical novel, The Romance of the Three Kingdoms which concerns contention, initiated by a sovereign power, Shu, against another, Wei, by colluding with the third sovereign power, Wu, wherein Shu and Wu would often breach their agreements in the then China of 220-280. Now, it is used to describe how things are constantly changing.)
I said, "How about I introduce you to a possible girlfriend? I guarantee that she is more mature, stylish, and beautiful than I am, and will satisfy all your fantasies of a love between an older woman and a younger man." He said, "Falling for you only proves that I don't want someone mature, stylish, and beautiful."
I felt unbearably angry so I just hung up the phone, holding myself back from quickly giving Doctor Su a call to rat him out. This 'tell one's parent to sue the teacher' behavior is really shameless, I didn't do it when I was a kid, it's impossible to grow up when you break a precept.
But I didn't think that just because I didn't do it, doesn't mean Su Rui also wouldn't do it. I got a call from Doctor Su around lunch time, more or less the content was about how her younger brother no longer thinks about drinking tea and eating rice* because of me, and that if I don't want her to go to Jiang Chen and directly tell him that I was a fickle woman, I would have to carefully think of a way to fix it. In the end, she told me seriously, that her threat about telling Jiang Chen was just a joke. Damn, her black humor. (T/N: Denotes losing the ability to function from the loss of a very important thing or an obsession about a certain thing to the point of neglecting basic necessities.)
I gave Su Rui a call, he said he was still cocooned in his blanket, also, a girl's voice and laughter went through the phone, "Little buddy, your jie jie asked me to talk to you."
He said, "Who is your little buddy, what do I have to talk to you about?"
The completely awkward 17-18 year old tone of his voice was really cute
I said, "Okay then, forget about it, just don't let the grown-ups worry for you, bye."
I was done talking, about to hang up the phone when he let out a shout that made my head swim, "Chen Xiaoxi, you dare hang up on me again!"
Why wouldn't I dare hang up, I fear nothing in heaven or earth, besides Jiang Chen's phone call which I dare not hung up.
Two seconds later, Su Rui roared and yelled, "Chen Xiaoxi, you are too much, I really like you."
I said, "Thanks, but I already like someone else."
He said, "You always like only him, only one person, don't you feel that your life is very boring?"
I said, "A little bit, so I advise you to quickly go out and like a few more."
Su Rui furiously threw his phone, breaking it. He unexpectedly reminded me of something, and made me decide to visit the man who made my life boring after I knock off work. When I came up with such a thought, I felt that I was so stupid before — he's busy while I'm the one who's free, and I still had to wait for him to find time to look for me, what is wrong with me!
When I got to the hospital, it was already past 6 o’clock, I couldn’t find Jiang Chen everywhere, so I gave him a call, “Where are you?”
"Hospital."
"Where in the hospital?"
"In a ward, are you here?"
"En. Which floor? Which room number? I'll go find you."
"No need. Just go to the lobby and wait for me. I'll go downstairs to find you."
I picked a conspicuous place among the many rows of benches in the lobby and sat down, even at this hour, there were still a lot of people sitting, standing up, walking back and forth all around the lobby, their faces looked more or less worried. But I was too busy to observe them, I was busy staring at every single entrance. I don't know what's wrong with me, I was suddenly so nervous about seeing him, like back in our student days, every time I'd hear his name, even when I was just chatting with my classmates, my heart would secretly skip a beat.
"What are you doing?" Someone poked the back of my head, I was, of course, leaning forward, craning my head to look at the corridors, I was laxed, so when I was poked, I almost face-planted on the floor but the person held me back. I turned my head, Jiang Chen was looking helplessly at me, "Why are you sitting unsteadily?"
I looked cluelessly at him and smiled, "Why didn't I see you coming?"
He pointed at the staircase behind me, "I came down from upstairs."
I chuckled, skipped over to his side, held unto his arm, and said, "I'm asking you out for a meal."
He said, "What are you so happy about?"
I said, "I'm just happy to see you."
He gave me a sideways glance, like a joke and also like a request, he said, "If you’re happy, then come here every day."
I nodded frenetically, "I think that you're so busy, in the future, I'll just frequently come here to keep you company okay."
He smiled and patted my head, saying, "I'm not used to you being so considerate like this."
I think the words he spoke wasn't said in the commanding heights of reality, faced with him, in fact I'm very considerate most of the time.
He looked at his watch, and said, "What do you want to eat? I can't walk too far off from the hospital."
I said, "Then which one around here is the most expensive to eat at? My invitation, but you’ll be the one paying.”
Jiang Chen said with a laugh, "You're very shameless."
"Exactly." I am very proud, "My principle in life is, 'After eating, wipe my mouth, and wipe my ass, then leave."
My voice fell, I myself was stunned, Jiang Chen hesitated for two seconds, then he burst into peals of laughter, a doctor in white, paying no heed to his image and laughing heartily in the hospital lobby. This unkind and unsympathetic behavior, even though his laugh is very nice to look at, he ought to be dragged out to get 30 beatings from a huge plank.
Jiang Chen led me out the back door of the hospital, he said he was going to take me to a very good hotpot place.
I said, "You're taking me to eat hotpot in summer?"
He said, "That place is open all year round, they have a 'lovers' pot' and I heard that it's very delicious, I've been wanting to take you there for a long time now, I can't wait for winter."
I've been wanting to take you there for a long time.
I stopped walking. I could feel my nose tingling the way it does when I’m about to cry.
Jiang Chen turned his head to look at me and wondered, "What happened?"
I stretched out my hand at him and said, "You take me."
He looked left and right, let out a sigh, and held my hand, "Why are you still so childish."
I watched him, his dimple was slowly showing on his left cheek, cutting through it.
The steam from the hotpot soon filled in between Jiang Chen and I. Besides being covered in the steam, I had the smell sticking all over me with sweat seeping through my pores making me feel very filthy, and also because I've told Jiang Chen about the thing with Su Rui, my filthy heart was looking forward that he best eat 'a little' vinegar, scratch that, eat 'a lot' of vinegar. It doesn't matter if he'd flip this hotpot table over, as long as the boiling hot soup doesn't pour on the both of us. (T/N: Eating vinegar means being jealous to a rival in love)
However, Jiang Chen just picked a slice of lamb meat and threw it in my bowl, "Stop being so conceited."
Ai, my conceitedness was spoken with tact, but he's still able to see clearly the downy feather* of autumn. (T/N: A Chinese idiom meaning to notice the minutest details in everything.)
I said, "Su Rui asked me, if it isn't boring to like only one person for a lifetime. What do you think?"
He said, "It might be a bit boring? I haven't tried."
I was stunned, mulled over it for a long time before I came to understand, tapping the edge of my bowl, I asked, “Can you say that again?”
He threw another piece of lamb meat into my bowl, “My grandma said, ‘Tap your bowl and you’ll become a beggar.” (T/N: It is poor table etiquette to tap on your bowl with your chopsticks as beggars make this kind of noise to attract attention.)
I neither overlooked nor spared* things and pressed on, “Who else did you like?” (T/N: Treat something seriously without listening to excuses.)
He turned his eyes in contemplation, and said after a long while, "Anyway, I’m not bored."
I was watching that dead look on his face, and said in bitter anger, "Okay, I also don't want to resign myself to being the only one who likes you for a lifetime anyway."
Jiang Chen also tapped on the edge of his bowl and said, "I actually think it's nice to just like only one person for a lifetime, just like performing surgery, only paying attention to speed and accuracy."
Those three phrases, not leaving out one's profession……
When our discussion regarding the serious, 'mountain collapsing, earth splitting' topic about 'one true love' has come to an end, Jiang Chen seemed to remember something and asked me, "Have you been going to my place recently?"
"Ah?" My brain couldn't get a grasp on it. "Go to your place?"
He glared at me, "Isn't my key there still with you?"
"I had a sudden epiphany but a little puzzled, "I forgot, your key is still here with me. You haven't been home these past few days?"
He said, "Wasn't able to, the patient I operated last Sunday is very influential, the higher-ups wanted me to be on call for 24 hours."
"Who?" I placed my bag on my lap, on one hand, preoccupied with rummaging my bag to look for the key, on the other hand, asking things casually.
"That Secretary Zhang whose banquet I took you last time. I have a spare key in my office."
I scratched my head, "Why are you leaving your key with me?"
Could it be, he wants me to sneak up on him in the middle of the night? The nerve of this guy……..
He threw another piece of lamb meat into my bowl. "To let you clean up my house, you're acting like you have amnesia. Your bowl's already full, are you going to eat or not?"
I have no idea when I piled up so much meat in my bowl, I could only praise on how really fast Jiang Chen was.
This was probably the fastest hotpot I've ever had, it only took us about an hour from ordering to being done with eating. After eating, we looked at each other, the image was as if we were walking past each other under the rain, but what we were really thinking was that we're very smelly.
Back in the hospital, Jiang Chen went to their quarters to take a shower, I stayed in his office waiting for him to come back, to come back and give me a week's worth of smelly clothes to wash and dry under the sun.