Chapter 19

“I was told a little bit about Velly, one of my friends on my way here, and I think Lord Viester and His Majesty were mistaken.”

 

“What mistake?”

 

Helen felt as if an unpleasant taste was surrounding her mouth.

 

She asked, barely opening her dry mouth.

 

After that, Ellie avoided making eye contact with her. The eyes of Ellie who was talking seemed desperate.

 

“They must have thought that the medicine was owned by Velly, who serves Concubine Cecillia.”

 

“Is that medicine such a big deal?”

 

“I don’t know about that. However… Cecillia was immediately deposed from her position and kicked out of the palace, meanwhile Velly, after she was taken out of the dungeon… She ended her own life.”

 

“Is she dead?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

Ellie was extremely shocked that her friend, Velly, had died.

 

The friend whom she had gone through thick and thin with.

 

She thought that Velly probably confessed on behalf of her who wasn’t present there since she knew quite a lot about it.

 

Then, she even died in her stead….

 

Ellie nibbled on her lips in despair.

 

“Why does Your Majesty….”

 

Was Velly killed?

 

Ellie just couldn’t get the words out properly.

 

Because Helen’s face was already in a deep shock.

 

Ellie puckered her lips and tightened her jaw. She had to pull herself together.

 

Both her and Concubine Edith might have been killed as well.

 

“Was that medicine such an important matter? I don’t know why Her Highness was deposed. She hasn’t even got the attention from His Majesty yet….”

 

While talking, Ellie suddenly found Helen frozen like ice in her spot.

 

She seemed scared.

 

“Your Highness….?”

 

Helen came back to her senses at Ellie’s question which was filled with doubt.

 

“H…uh?”

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“Y-yeah. I’m alright.”

 

She didn’t really seem to be alright. The corner of her eyes and pupil that fell as if they were terrified, they were also shaking as if an earthquake had just occurred.

 

The beads of sweat formed on her forehead dripped down and ran through her cheeks.

 

“Your Highness, you’re still sick, aren’t you?”

 

“Uh….”

 

“I’ll get a wet towel. Please take a rest.”

 

Helen grabbed Ellie, who was about to turn around and brought the wet towel as well as water for her.

 

When Ellie looked back, Helen still looked at Ellie in surprise even though she was the one who grabbed her.

 

And she spat out her words instinctively.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry. This is my duty.”

 

“….”

 

Helen was at a loss for words as she returned with a wet towel.

 

Helen felt indescribably devastated.

 

It was because of her. That she had treated the man related to the Emperor. The Emperor is looking for her because she had laid a hand on the man.

 

Because of her, the maid, Ellie’s friend, died, and Concubine Cecillia was deposed from her position.

 

If only she didn’t get sick today….

 

Both her and Ellie might have died.

She heard a lot about the atrocious temper of the Emperor. He was battailous and crazy for blood.

 

That person was related to such a man. She felt bad seeing him trapped in the library, but she didn’t expect things to turn out this serious.

 

“N… Now…. What should we do….?”

 

One night has already passed. The man must have waited for her in the library last night.

 

He might have attempted to open the door again since she didn’t visit him without saying any reason.

 

Also, he might have been assaulted, or even got injured.

 

When the serene face of the man came to mind, her mind was filled with concern.

 

‘What should I do….’

 

At the same time when she was worried about the man, she was also worried about Ellie’s safety.

 

It would have been fine if she had died. But the man and Ellie….

 

Helen was resentful at the moon that shone high in the sky.

 

When she prayed to live until winter, it seemed like she was forced to choose whether to abandon the man so she could be spared, or get caught and killed by the Emperor because she had treated him.

 

He was heartless.

 

She always knew that God didn’t take her side, but she still clung fatuously to God.

 

Helen was filled with resentment and tears ran down her cheeks. She didn’t weep. However, the tears that flowed down her eyes was because she couldn’t stand this kind of unfairness in her life.

 

Wiping off the tears with the back of her hand, Helen opened the window once again.

 

The man might be looking at this place through the window of the library.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Helen made up her mind. She decided not to step into the library anymore.

 

Not just for a while, but she would never go there anymore in the future.

 

Helen stood in front of the window, carrying a candlestick while her mind was filled with much consideration.

 

She was reminded of the conversation in the library for a moment.

 

‘Do you know this?’

 

‘Because I have read all of the books in the library.’

 

“This is a coded message.’

 

The man knew the sign. It was also a code that allowed people to exchange secret codes with light from faraway.

 

The words changed depending on the speed, number, and time of the blinking light. Even though she was only able to convey simple things, she could fully convey what she wanted to say to the man.

 

“I’m so sorry….”

 

Helen was teary as she held up the candlestick, covered the fire with her palm and removed it repeatedly.

 

/I don’t think I can go to you. There are a lot of people for the time being. I’m sorry./

 

She repeated those few words.

 

Helen repeated the lights a few times toward the library where the man resided.

 

Blink blink.

 

Only the lights looked pretty, the conveyed message was not pleasant.

 

‘Did he see it…?’

 

Looking at the dark library, she thought the man probably didn’t see it.

 

She couldn’t let him wait for her again today….

 

While thinking so, Helen bit hard on her lower lip. Until it was bleeding, however she had chosen herself and Ellie’s safety instead of the man.

Tears didn’t stop falling from her eyes because her decision was considered hypocritical.

 

‘I was supposed to help him…’

 

She recalled her promise with the man. She was being hypocritical, saying that she would help him escape from the library and that things would get better.

 

There was nothing she could do for the man.

 

My hand, which had been repeatedly sending the lights, suddenly came to a halt.

 

‘What does this all mean…. The man can’t get out of the library and I can’t go to the library anymore.’

 

The Emperor noticed something strange. It seemed that he also knew it was a concubine who helped the man.

 

Guards have been tightened around the library, and the man was still inside. Lonely and desolate.

 

“I’m sorry…. I’m sorry, really.”

 

Helen mumbled, as if she was apologizing.

 

The light flickered for quite a while, however there wasn’t any reaction from the library.

 

I guess he didn’t see it.

 

It was also her mere guess thinking that the man was looking at her spot.

 

He has been depending on her, but he still…………

 

“Huh…?”

 

At that moment, a light came from the library. Small lights, similar to her, was moving repeatedly.

 

Helen hurriedly tried to figure it out.

 

“…It’s… It’s alright.”

 

The man said it was alright. What did he mean by that?

 

Did he think she would come back soon?

 

The light didn’t stop there. Shortly after, the man began to signal something again.

 

“Are… you….o…kay?”

 

‘What should I say?’

 

She had given up on the man, but at the same time, the man was still worried about her.

 

“Stupid….”

 

Helen muttered while putting up both of her legs on the chair in front of the window, and wrapped them around herself.

 

Although she didn’t send any signal, the man kept talking with a sloppy gesture.

 

/Where did you get injured?/

 

/Hurts. Are you?/

 

/Bad. People./

 

The sentences turned much shorter and easier, but it seemed that Helen was comforting herself with that.

 

Looking at the man who flickered lights repeatedly, Helen lowered her head onto both of her knees.

 

If she kept crying, her eyes might become swollen and she would end up becoming a carp tomorrow, but her tears just didn’t stop.

 

I was so sad and sorry that I had to let go of such a sweet man now. She felt so sad and guilty for letting go of such a sweet man now.

 

“Sorry….”

 

He might not have heard it, but Helen continued to apologize to him.

 

While hoping that he could hear this apology coming from her.

 

“Are you going to be okay….?”

 

The man in the library looked out the window absentmindedly. Until a moment ago, he could see Helen’s abode, which had been sending him light signals repeatedly.

 

It was very small and hard to spot, but he could tell where it was because the man always looked in that direction the moment he opened his eyes.

 

It was a very small signal coming from Helen.

 

/I don’t think I can go. In the meantime. There are a lot of people. I’m sorry./

 

He almost overlooked it without figuring out the meaning of the light. The repeated lights suddenly reminded him of what the woman said.

 

‘How do you know about the light signal?’

 

He didn’t even know it. He actually already knew, but he came to realize that he knew about it when the woman held out a book to him.

 

“That’s a relief.”

 

He wouldn’t have known if he overlooked it.

 

He didn’t even want to think about it. It was such a nightmare.

 

Last night, he stared at it until the sun rose. The place where Helen told him that it was her place.

 

But Helen didn’t seem to come out nor seen there. It was so far that Helen would have looked like an ant if he spotted her.

 

He was certain to recognize her right away as she had gorgeous golden hair.

 

The man clenched his fist without even knowing that he was digging his fingernails into his own flesh.

 

According to his observation, the number of guards near the wall surrounding the library has increased.

 

“Sh*tty b*st**d….”

 

He was frustrated again. Did the increasing number of these people have something to do with the Emperor’s order?

 

Why did the Emperor lock him up in this place?

 

He was concerned about the woman. She said she couldn’t come due to the guards, but he suddenly became worried when he spotted the lights flickering.

 

What if she was hurt somewhere?

 

What if the Emperor threatened her?

 

So if she doesn’t come to see me.

 

Then, what should I do?

 

“Sigh…….”

 

The man’s sigh became deeper.

 

Looking at Helen’s place where the light didn’t flicker anymore, the man put the candlestick down on the table.

 

He would not have been able to talk to the woman without this candlestick.

 

When he opened his eyes again today, there were candlesticks, a new piece of paper, and a pen in front of him.

 

He tore the paper apart last night.

 

<b>[Where did you get the pen?]</b>

 

He had enough of this. He didn’t answer any of his questions, but he only asked him these kinds of questions.

 

“Annoying.”

 

The man tore up all the paper again. Moreover, he knew by instinct that even if he asked a question, the Emperor wasn’t a human being who would answer it.

 

He suspected that he might have sent assassins whom he sent almost everyday.

 

‘No, they’ve always used swords.’

 

It was also funny how the Emperor let him hold a sword while sending assassins to him.

 

Then what the hell was this….

 

The man buried his face in his hands.

 

He had never been in such a dilemma lately….

 

It was thanks to her that he was able to come out of such a deep and dark place for a while.

 

“Did she say her name… was Edith?”

 

The man muttered as he looked out the window toward Helen’s place with an absentminded gaze.

 

“Edith… Edith… Edith……….”

 

I murmured her name for quite a while, but he was displeased by the way it came out of his mouth.

 

It was because she had a name, but he didn’t even have one.

 

That was the reason he hasn’t called her name yet.

 

“Edith, I miss you….”

 

The man could not take his eyes off Helen’s abode through the window.

 

There was a powerful urge. That he wanted to run away from this place and meet her right away. It’d be nice if we could meet once and come back. It would be nice if she was able to come back and meet him even just for once….

 

While staring blankly at the woman’s abode, he suddenly sensed the presence of someone outside the door.

 

It couldn’t be her.

 

He had been looking at her abode this whole time. But there was no way she could have appeared here all of a sudden.

 

“Who’s there?”

 

Was that the assassin again?

 

Shiing.

 

The sharp sword escaped from the scabbard and made that kind of sound.

 

The man took out the sword and headed slowly toward the door. His eyes gleamed terrifyingly, just like a wolf who was about to go hunting.

 

The library was dark, but the moonlight came through and was reflected by the light. The man grasped the sword in his hand and swerved the blade.

 

The man, whose build was as big as the door, stood in front of it and waited for the assassins to make their way inside.