Lettis has been a friendly child since childhood. He was so sweet that even the duke was worried about him. It took him a long time to fully accept the complete betrayal of his blood relatives, and in the process, he nearly lost his sister. It wasnât unreasonable for his mental breakdown. The problem was that, sadly, there was nothing I could do about it. The sense of betrayal and deprivation that the siblings felt was not something that I could judge arbitrarily. And in a situation where clumsy comfort could become poisonous, greater consequences could be created if I did anything.
I greeted the morning with a feeling of frustration and devastation. Lettis came to the table wearing a gown that covered his wrists well, and in front of Estelle, who knew nothing, the three of us worked hard to pretend to be our usual selves and finished our meal. After breakfast, Estelle suddenly grabbed her older brother and asked him to play âhair salon.â Since Estelle, who had no motivation to do anything these days, made an offer full of enthusiasm for the first time in a long time, Lettis was dragged to the library without being able to refuse. I shouted to him to take the stove. Although it was still a bit cold, the snow had stopped and the clear sunlight was pouring in through the window. I hadnât done any laundry since winter came, so I thought I should wash some pajamas on such a nice day.
The problem started there. When I went into the bathroom with the pajamas packed and stooped down to get water in the bathtub, I could see the remains of something scattered around the drain. That was none other than todayâs breakfast. To be precise, it was the traces of vomit after eating breakfast and clumsily flushing it with water. Estelle seemed to have vomited again. It seemed like she secretly threw up here and cleaned it up in case I would see it. The vomits seemed to have stopped for a while, so I was relieved. But now it seems to have started again. Or it never stopped to begin with? Did she secretly do this every day because she was afraid Iâd be worried?
I knelt and sat on the floor. I was about to clean up the messy drain, but my vision was blurred. There was no way of knowing whether Estelleâs rejection of food was due to a problem with the digestive system or a psychological cause. Either way, it was a freaking damn situation. It was a really f*cking absurd situationâŚ
âSasha? Why are you sitting like that?â
Venya came in through the half-opened door. I guess he expected me to be doing the laundry. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and stuttered.
âShe vomited again.â
ââŚâ
âI guess she canât digest it. Because she was so sick⌠I should have started with a diet based on liquid⌠because she canâtâŚâ
Venya came over without a word, sat down next to me, raised his hand, and gently patted my back. We stood silent for a long time.Â
Iâve thought about it hundreds of times. What would the original Sasha do? What would she think and what would she do in this situation? I donât think it would be any more different from what I am now. She was supposed to be the sprouts of a villainess, and I was a reincarnation with memories from another world, but it didnât seem like there was much difference between us.
After a heavy silence, Venya slowly opened his mouth. An indifferent, dry voice came out.
âIt wasnât his first time doing that.â
What? I stopped rubbing my eyes with my sleeve and looked at him blankly. A bitter and harsh smile passed through the sky-blue eyes that stared at my expression.
âLast time, when I said I threw all the books while trying to climb the bookshelves. Well, actually, it wasnât because I was playing⌠It was because Hyung tried to hang himself there. With a belt.â
ââŚâ
âI mean, I know, right? It was bound to fail and so stupid. Did you have a hard time cleaning up all the books?â
<small>[tl/n: If you canât grasp the sarcasm yeah, heâs been quite sarcastic]</small>
No words came out. Last nightâs incident alone was shocking, but I could understand Venyaâs harsh reaction now⌠it wasnât the first time for him. My hand moved on its own and grabbed him tightly. Venya spoke again, slowly, his gaze to the floor.
âHyung isnât that kind of person. You know it too⌠the older brother I know isnât that weak and pathetic. No matter what⌠he isnât the kind of person who would try to escape aloneâŚâ
Itâs true. The little master I knew, even though he was a bit bland in character, wasnât the kind of guy who would make an extreme choice over his younger siblings in a difficult situation⌠However, he was still only a child, and no one could predict what kind of changes would happen if a person was driven to the edge of their sanity.Â
At first, I vaguely thought I could somehow survive for two years here. Then, many things happened and Estelle fell sick, I was no different. I was drained and frustrated. I desperately dreamed of escaping, but there was no way. Hiding in the cart and escaping was already used once and was found out. If we tried to climb down the tower through the small window, we would fall and die as soon as we started.Â
âAnd letâs say a miracle happens and we get out of this tower, where can we go? Estelle is too weak to escape, and above all, when we get out of the tower, we will be in the hands of the enemies. Would there be at least one trustworthy person left in the dukeâs mansion?â
âHyung is hyung, but Estelle is no longer the same as she used to be. When I look back these days, it seems like some kind of ghost is roaming around⌠Sometimes when I wake up, Iâm afraid that the two will be dead. Thatâs why I canât fall asleep.â
Hesitantly, I raised my hand and touched Venyaâs eyes. The expression that flickered in his eyes was complicated. Sadness, anger, and fear, a whirlwind of mixed emotions filled with dampness.
âI canât stand it. Seeing how the two have changed⌠I canât f*cking stand itâŚâ
As his dry voice cracked, he began to tremble trying to suppress the tears. It was a difficult scene to watch. It felt like my heart was going to break into pieces.
Who made such a cocky and noble boy this way? Who made us like this? There are so many bad people in the world, why do we, who are still children, have to suffer like this? If itâs the suffering caused solely because we arenât the main characters or because itâs our fate as villains, itâs truly unfair and absurd.
I moved and wrapped my arms around the boyâs dropped head. Venya didnât refuse it. He just buried his face in my chest and let out a sob.
âIâd rather⌠I really think it would be better if we all died together⌠I donât know what to do⌠Sasha, do you still think we can make it?â
Tears were flowing from my eyes too. I swallowed a few sniffles and buried my face in Venyaâs messy hair.
âVenya, you said you trust me, right? If I say I had seen a future where in half a year we will all be out of here, will you still believe me?â
A scheduled story that only I know. In the past, I was afraid of being misunderstood or taken as a crazy person if I had said something like that so I didnât dare to say it. But at this moment, the words came out on their own as if I was possessed by something. Â
Venya laughed. He cried and laughed.
âHowâŚ? Are you going to wait for the butler to come in and kill him?â
I also chuckled.
âThatâs a good idea. We pick the day when the banquet will be held, you and Oppa work together to kill Mr. Harris, I carry Estelle on the back, and go out together. And then we go into the mansion and show up in front of all the guests, voila!â
Venya asked again.
âAnd then? Then what do we doâŚ? What do we do with the people who did this to usâŚ?â