Kou, whoās talking to the Fourth Corps Captain who suddenly came, thought about something.
I got worried and called out, but he said itās nothing.
Just thatāā
āRodoās child, want, just thought.ā (I just thought I want to have Rodoās child.)
(Do you want my child?)
Even though we just connected our bodies for the first time?
ā¦I also want to have a child with Kou in the future, and as an Akinist, I have a duty to leave a child.
But that was a long way off in the future.
To our astonishment, if you look at Kou whoās tilting his head in confusion, he probably didnāt understand the meaning.
āāwhat does it mean?
Kouās body is too young to have children.
At the very least, we canāt do it unless he could accept me smoothly.
ā¦because to have a child, he had to accept me as a beast. (T/N: Errā¦is this a casual mention of !ty in the future?)
If I do it with Kou, itāll be in a disastrous state of being torn.
I havenāt taught him the process of having children yet, so itās not strange that Kou didnāt know.
āRodo, what?ā
Kou, who asked why weāre surprised, would want to return once I told him this, right?
Even when he accepted me as a human, he was already in such pain.
But heāll eventually know.
I also want to have children with Kou.
āBeast, become. ā¦now, Kou, not used to it, so, canāt.ā (I have to become a beast. Kou is not used to it now, so we canāt.)
Kou blinked several times while keeping that confused tilted head posture.
However, he seemed to have understood it after a whileāā
āā¦thatāsā¦ļ¼ļ¼ļ¼ļ¼!?ā
He shouted something.
Then looked up at me and made a troubled face.
āAkinist, stroke, like. ā¦but, that, no. Rodo, fineā¦ā (I like stroking Akinist. But doing that is a no. Rodo is fine like thisā¦)
In other words, he wanted me to remain humanized.
I understand that Kou is afraid.
If I turn into a beast, my body will grow bigger.
āRodoās child, want. ā¦but, scary.ā
I hugged Kou who began to cry.
āI wonāt do it. Cry, no need.ā
For me, Iām happy just because he wanted it.
Besides, we donāt have to make a child right now.
āDoing it, think about, can I?ā (Can I think about it?)
āā¦yeah. Thanks.ā
Looking at Kou wiping his tears, my love overflows.
āDo you want Captainās child that much?ā
Partners of different races find it more burdensome.
Therefore, they usually donāt want children very much.
Renneiga might have wanted to say that.
āā¦Kou, until when, live, donāt know. If I die, Rodo, die, know. ā¦child, have, Rodo, not die?ā (I donāt know how long Iāll live. But when I die, Rodo will also die. ā¦if I have a child, maybe Rodo will not die?)
āā¦ā¦ā
I involuntarily lost my words.
Am I the reason why you wanted a child?
Certainly, I donāt think I can live after Kou died.
Thereās also the possibility that Kou will disappear, but then, I can wait for him to reappear.
But if he died early, I wonāt be able to live.
Because of my strong body, itāll be difficult for me to commit suicide, but itās harder to live in a world without Kou.
So I would choose death at all costs.
ā¦but if thereās Kouās keepsake, then what?
If itās just a kid, I wonāt care, but if itās Kouās kid, I might be interested in it.
āābecause half of it has Kouās blood.
With someone that inherited Kouās blood, will I choose to die?
ā¦butā¦I donāt know what kind of choice Iāll make because I still donāt know the pain of losing Kou.
So I canāt say anything.
Seems like the others are the same.
No one here doesnāt know a mateās predilection.
If that time didnāt come, we canāt predict what will happen.
I wish I could reassure him by saying āI wonāt dieāā¦but I donāt want to lie to Kou.
āā¦live long, want, okay?ā (I also want to live long, you know?)
Kou, who seemed to realize that he wouldnāt get an affirmation from my silence, said that and laughed, then didnāt talk anymore.
Weāre in the middle of eating so he resumed his meal.
I canāt even reassure Kou.
But I donāt want to tell a lie.
ā¦what should I say?
Perhaps he couldnāt stand the awkward atmosphere, the Fourth Corps Captain went out in a hurry.
The other members also left with confused expressions.
Kou remained on my lap.
ā¦isnāt he angry?
āāāā
āā
After eating, Kou got off my lap.
āTower, go.ā (Iāll go to the tower.)
I felt like Kou, who waved his hand while saying that, was going far away so I hugged him.
āā¦Rodo?ā
A voice asking āwhat?ā
Thisā¦did I surprise Kou?
āā¦tower, go, no? Today, rest?ā (Should I not go to the Tower? Do you want to rest today?)
However, Kou, who stroked my head, smiled gently.
Is he not appalled by my actions?
He even said heād take a rest for me.
I really donāt know which one was older.
āToday, together?ā (Want to be together today?)
Healed by the smile looking up from my arms.
I strongly think that Kou is fitting as my mate, and I donāt want to be robbed.
I also donāt want to be hated by Kou.
Is that proof that I like Kou so much that the fear wouldnāt go away even though he told me he likes me?
Kou noticed my state and quickly called out.
He always acts for me.
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Iām worried if I can keep my mate who fascinates everyone.
āKusukusuā¦Rodo, cute.ā
Kou, who wrapped his arms to my back, said so while laughing.
The word ācuteā is always said every time I feel uneasy.
Iām also used to being called ālike my younger brotherāā¦
ā¦does that mean I havenāt been seen as āhis manā yet?
ā¦shouldnāt that be wiped out after connecting our bodies?
āRodo, mate, relieved.ā (Iām relieved that Iām Rodoās mate.)
I was so happy when he uttered those wordsā¦
That I hugged him unconsciously.
I heard a painful sound and hurriedly weakened my power.
āRodo, work, go? ā¦h-home?ā (Do you want to work? ā¦or go h-home?) (T/N: A version of āDo you want food, a bath, or me?ā in Kou style.)
While clinging to me, those words should be foul play.
Besides, I already prevented Kou from going to the Tower of Trik.
And itās also hard to say that I have to work.
In the afternoon, the members only need to train and I donāt have to give any guidance.
Itās just my personal training time.
And I can do that anywhere.
āGo home.ā
My answer is expected.
āCaptain, are you going home?ā
āYes.ā
After replying to Renneiga, I picked up Kou and left the barracks.
I havenāt taken a day off for a long time, so itās okay to take a half-day day off.
Besides, in the event of an emergency, my house is within easy reach.
Kou usually says ādownā but today, he had his arms around my neck and his head on my shoulders.
I feel like Iāve been particularly pampered latelyā¦and I donāt think itās my fault.
He used to want to get off right away and weād just hold hands as a compromise.
āGot home, together, sleep?ā (When we get home, sleep together?)
Is he sleepy after eating?
Heād only sleep during the day when riding Sig.
Everything related to a mode of transport seemed to make him sleepy.
āYes.ā
But I have no reason to decline.
If we can sleep together, thatās fine.
āā¦Kou, back, hurts, mmm, no more?ā (My back doesnāt hurt anymore, you know?)
āā¦ā
I was suddenly told that, butā¦what does that mean?
Am I being invited?
āā¦Kou?ā
āRodo, liked it, right? Kou, um, okay. Waist, b*tt, donāt hurt.ā (Rodo likes it, right? Iām fine now. My waist and b*tt donāt hurt anymore.)
As Kou said, I have always been concerned and caringā¦
I didnāt expect to be told that at this time.
āāmy reason snapped.
By the time I noticed, weāre already at home.
From the fact that my rarely disturbed breathing is rough, I seemed to have returned with a sprint.
I can see Kou being confused, but I didnāt care.
I quickly headed to the bedroom and pushed him down.
ā¦but Kou didnāt resist and reached out to me.
From there, my head turned white and I could hardly remember the things afterward.
However, I always told myself to be conscious of not becoming a beast.
This feeling, as if the blood in my whole body had boiled, could only be felt when Iām with Kou.
This is the second time, but I realized that Iām too absorbed in it.
Even though I want to be more caring for Kouās bodyā¦
This time, he didnāt lose consciousness right away and said my name.