With an anxious face, Ko turned his body and hugged me.
Are tunnels scary when youāre not afraid of dark places?
I firmly hugged Ko with the arm thatās not holding the reins.
However, as we advanced, Ko began acting strange.
He breathed shallowly and sweated a lot.
He looked like heās in pain so I urged Sig to turn back.
At that timeāā
Flopā¦Ko fell limp in an instant.
I supported him in a hurryā¦
(ā¦I canāt feel his magical powerā¦?)
Koās magical power is considerable.
But suddenly, I couldnāt feel it.
I suspected that he fainted, but his magical power shouldnāt suddenly disappear.
āKo!?ā
Even when I called out, he didnāt move.
The sweet scent peculiar to a mate also faded.
āGo look at Ko!ā
I called out to the healer who accompanied us, but it seemed that healing magic didnāt work for the current Ko.
The healer who was holding a hand to Ko shook his head.
Not being able to heal meant that the other person was ānot aliveā.
The dead cannot be cured.
āNo! You canāt leave me!!ā
I canāt depend on the healers.
So I turned back the way I came and made Sig run.
I could hear a voice from behind, but I couldnāt afford to stop.
Watching Koās arm sway weakly, I desperately endured crying.
(If this is what happens, I shouldnāt have gotten inā¦!)
Ko was scared at the entrance of the tunnel.
Did he mean this?
If I lose Ko, it doesnāt matter what happens to Aricalen.
Even soāā
Why did you still enter the tunnel?
I regretted it.
After passing through the tunnel, I got off Sig.
āKo! Wake up! Open your eyes!!ā
Even when I called out and shook his body, Ko didnāt open his eyes.
I couldnāt breathe when the fear of losing Ko suddenly struck me.
My body went cold, probably because Iām sweating a lot.
(To lose Ko like thisā¦I donāt want to think about it.)
I hugged him and tried to warm him up with my body temperature.
āKo! ā¦Ko!ā
I could only call him many times, and I hated my powerlessness.
How long have I been doing that?
At least, itās been a long time for me.
It might have been a short time because no one had appeared from the tunnel yet.
Then, Ko opened his eyes.
I could immediately feel the scent of my mate and his magical power.
āKo! ā¦Thank goodness.ā
I was overwhelmed with relief.
āRodo?ā
Koās voice reached my ears and the tears I endured overflowed.
(Heās alive.)
Iām just happy about that.
Then, Koās words made my head bright red with anger.
I didnāt listen properly but I heard that heās going to Niho.
Itās unacceptable for me to lose Ko again right now.
I want to prevent it more than anything.
However, that seemed to be my misunderstanding.
I didnāt understand what he meant by āI died in Nihoā, but Ko didnāt seem able to return to Niho.
Ko then licked my tears and rubbed his cheeks against mine.
Heās been doing that lately and itās too adorable.
As Ko said, that 'someday, Kou might return to Nihoā anxiety had disappeared.
Thereās still some anxiety about Ko, but the fact that he could spend the rest of his life with me meant that my greatest anxiety had disappeared.
The fact that I didnāt have to worry that āhe might disappear tomorrowā or that āthe moment I take my eyes off, he might return to Nihoā gives me a lot of leeway in my heart.
Is it because I felt relieved?
I feel inferior to Ko who behaved so adorablyāā
āWait until tonight?ā
I was told before I could say anything.
āKo! Are you okay?ā
My parents approached then.
They were dazed when they saw Ko not accept healing and seemed to have returned to their senses just now.
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āYes. Sorry for worrying you? ā¦maybe only my soul returned to ***. Itās been at least three years over there.ā
ā? ā¦is that so?ā
My parents didnāt seem to understand what Ko meant.
For me, as long as Ko is here and will never return to Niho, thatās fine.
He said some other words, but I canāt understand them.
āLetās go to Aricalen soon?ā
But all three of us disagreed.
Since I saw Ko so scared before entering the tunnel, I donāt want him to enter the tunnel again.
My parents were also worried about Koās abnormality in the tunnel, so they persuaded him to go home.
āIt doesnāt matter what happens to Aricalen. No one is more important than Ko.ā
āā¦Iām okay. I donāt have any unpleasant feelings anymore.ā
However, no matter what we say, Ko said heāll go to Aricalen.
āYou donāt have to worry about me disappearing anymore. Call me āKo Serafineā and Iāll behave as such. ā¦because ā*** Kouā doesnāt exist anymore.ā
He said Koās name, the one he said when we first met.
Itās still a name that I canāt pronounce properly.
Itās Koās name in Niho.
ā¦and, I just noticed that Ko called himself āIā.
Sometimes when he didnāt want to give his name to strangers, heād say, āI donāt want you to know my nameā, but to us, heād use āKouā.
Does that mean he no longer had to remember the words he used in Niho?
When he gave his name, Ko called himself āKou Serafineā.
His real name was difficult to pronounce so no one could call him by his real name.
And yet, he said we could just call him āKou Serafineā.
Was he prepared to cut off the 18 years heād lived in Niho?
ā¦if thatās the case, maybe I should accept it as his partner.
I should have accepted every environment surrounding Ko, who was born and raised in Niho.
Butāā
I couldnāt do that.
Itās unacceptable that one day, he might disappear in front of me.
I donāt want to believe that his life was too short.
And I donāt want to lose Ko.
I donāt even want to imagine being left behind by Ko.
And I have long since abandoned understanding Koās āraceā.
If Ko left or died, Iāll follow him.
āāIām only thinking about that.
And Ko understood that.
For me, who didnāt think deeply in the first place, itās impossible to think more.
āYou donāt have to worry, you know? Because my whereabouts will be next to Rodo.ā
He smiled and decided to go to Aricalen.
Once we arrive at Aricalen, I decided to never let go of this armā¦
We entered the tunnel again, but unlike before, Ko didnāt look strange.
He didnāt breathe shallowly and heās not sweating.
Heās not scared at all.
As expected, did he somehow know that that would happen?
You said you only went with your soul, but what does that mean?
He said heās dead, but what did he see in Niho?
ā¦but from what he said, itās unlikely that Iāll understand.
I brought my face closer to him and sniffed.
āFufuā¦it tickles.ā
Koās sweet voice and his scent as my mate calmed me down.
Koās the only one who could shake me emotionally and calm me down.